The Guy Who Doesn't Like Me

Fourteen - Absence

First of all, I wanna thank @mariey88 for voting and commenting on my story Cassidy and here. You should know that I appreciate it a lot. This chapter is dedicated to you.

xoxo

Gabriella

"Saan naman kayo galing ni Matthew?" Nandito kami ngayon sa bahay namin and kasama ko si Jannelle and kanina pa yan sa car. She keeps on asking me kung bakit kami sabay pumasok kanina kasi di raw siya naniniwala na accidentally lang kami nagkita. Buti na lang, nakapagpasundo ako sa driver namin kanina kundi, baka kahit nasa car kami ni Matt, hindi yan titigil sa pang-iinterrogate.

"Sis, sinabi na naman ni Matthew na friends na kayo. Hindi niyo na kailanganpang magtago." Panghuhuli sakin ni Jannelle. Napatitig naman ako sa kanya. I held her hand and sighed.

"Sis, I don't really know what's happening." Akala ko talaga, aasarin niya ako. But instead, she held me back and look straightly into my eyes.

"What's happening?" 

"Why do I feel like kailangan naming magtago? Bakit parang hindi talaga kami pwedeng maging friends ni Matthew publicly? Bakit everytime na gusto naming mag-usap, laging dapat hindi alam ng lahat. No one knows, well except you, na nakakapag-usap na ulit kami ni Matthew. Sigurp, Matt knows something but I don't really know-- and now my heads hurting." Pagcocomplain ko sa kanya. Simula noong naging friends kami ni Matthew, well medyo alam ng lahat na we're friends na but why do I always feel like we have to hide the fact that we're seeing each other as friends? Why do I always feel like I'm guilty with the fact that I'm seeing him in close doors? And why do I feel like I'm cheating on Matt even though I'm not really doing anything wrong?

"Kasi you had feelings for him for a long time and you chased him and then suddenly decided to move on kaya naman sa tingin mo, it's really unsual to see him kahit na as a friend lang." That's true. Dahil na rin siguro sa sobrang tagal kong hinahabol habol si Matthew and and within just a month lang is ganito na kami. I've been chasing him for a year and then decided to move on noong nagkaroon siya ng Michelle and now, people might think na because of my friendship with Matthew, baka yun ang reason why he broke up with Michelle.

"But you know what, kung nahihirapan ka sa situation niyo, why don't you just ignore him? Friends pa rin kayo but focus on--" I cut her. Hindi niya pa natatapos ang sentence niya, I cut her.

"I can't." Hindi nagsalita si Jannelle and same as me. Hindi ko kayang hindi na kausapin si Matthew. Nagawa ko siya before but ngayon, hindi ko na kaya? I mean, technically, we're not that close pa naman para hindi ko magawa yon. But my heart says I can't.

"You can't or you don't want to?" I smiled to finally realize it. Tama si Jannelle. It's not that I can't. It's because I don't want to.

"I don't want to. Jannelle, I'm.... i'm...."

"Yah, you're still in love with Matthew. Alam mo, Gabby, there's nothing wrong about that. Hindi yan--"