The Guy Who Doesn't Like Me

Fifteen - Falling

Gabriella

"I can't believe you made all of these." Sabi ko kay Matt. We're in Tagaytay and he rented this whole place para lang i-surprise ako. I must say. His surprises are getting bigger and bigger. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na wag na mag-abala pa pero nasabi ko na sa kanya iyan noong una and isa lang ang sinabi niya at paulit-ulit na sinasabi.

'Just accept my efforts.'

"All for you, Gab." Sabi niya sakin and he smiled. I smiled back and tumingin na lang sa surroundings. Sobrang ganda ng view. Feeling ko, nasa langit ako dahil sa sobrang taas ng lugar. I can see the city lights and sobrang nakakarelieve ng stress. Then it hit me. Matt has been doing a lot of work just to make me feel special while me, enjoying my secret friendship with Matthew. Maybe it's time to tell him na I'm secretly seeing Matthew but as a friend. SIguro naman, wala naman talagang masama. Ang mahalaga, nagsabi ako ng totoo. Pero yun lang ba talaga ang gusto kong sabihin? Mixed emotions ang nararamdaman ko simula noong dinala ako dito ni Matt. I feel like I really have to give him a chance to get to know me instead of hiding from him. After all, pinayagan ko rin naman siya manligaw and that's fair lang- for me to let him get to know me. Pero ang hirap lang kasi finally, narealize ko nanaman na gusto ko pa rin talaga si Matthew. Actually, sumagi na sa isip ko na bustedin na si Matt and start new things with Matthew- including refraining ourselves from hiding. I really wanna do that pero I feel like hindi pa time and hindi tama kaya eto ako ngayon, hindi alam kung anong gagawin ko. Why am I experiencing this? From the very beginning, mambusted lang ang alam ko dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na kay Matthew lang ako. But now, parang laging mali na piliin ko si Matthew.

"Gabby, I love you." Nagulat ako sa sinabi ni Matt. Napatingin ako sa kanya and he's currently looking at the city lights. Did he just say he loves me? And for the first time in my whole life, a guy actually told me he loves me. I can't deny it. My heart skipped a beat.

"Noong nakita ko kayo ni Matthew noong first date natin, that's when I realized na I love you. I love you with every bit of my heart." Sabi niya. Hindi naman ako makapagsalita.

"Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko. I just love you." Then he sighed.

"I love you so much that I'm willing to let you go kasi alam ko naman na kahit anong pilit kong gawin, you'll never love me back." Nagulat naman ako sa sinabi ni Matt. He looked at me.

"You're still in love with Matthew. And I know you'll always will." Hindi ako makapagsalita. Gusto kong bigkasin ang pangalan niya pero mas nangibabaw sakin ang luha.

"Alam mo, Gabby sabi nga sa KathNiel movie na Can't Help Falling in Love, mas nakakatakot ang hindi magmahal. You're lucky kasi you're feeling that way kaya naman cherish it. Tell him what you really feel." My lips parted. Hindi ko alam kung anong una kong sasabihin.

"And stop seeing him secretly. Maging proud ka sa nararandaman mo. Sabihin mo rin yan sa kanya. Kung may plano talaga siya sayo, wag nang matakot ipakita sa lahat." I'm still looking at him.

"I let you go kasi alam kong sa kanya ka lang talaga sasaya kaya sana, wag naman niyang sayangin yung pagpaparaya ko." Napatawa naman kaming dalawa. I hugged him.