I Broke His Heart Because I Had To, Not Because I Wanted To

Chapter Two - Eight months

 Chapter Two

Eight Months

   When Sal and I got home, we went into the lounge. We sat on the sofa and Sal said "What else did 'e say?"

I bit my lip and said "Eight months." I then paused "Tops."

Sally let out a sob, put a hand to her mouth and said "No."

"Yeah."

"B...but...you're barely sixteen. You won't get a chance to drive or anything like that. How could this happen?"

"I...I don't know, but let's be grateful that I've got time to say my goodbyes and have a little fun, okay?" I then moved towards Sal, wrapped my arms around her and pulled her body close to mine. She started to sob against my chest. I felt tears escape my eyes, roll down my cheeks and land on Sal's head. We stayed like that for a good couple of hours. After, I made us a chicken stir-fry. Later that night, we sat on the sofa and looked through the family albums. We saw pictures of Mum and Dad holding us as babies, in hospital.

   We'd lost our parents a year ago. My mother had died of lung cancer and my father had killed himself a week after she'd died. I found him in the spare room, laying silently, a gun in his hand and blood spattered over the lemon yellow wall. I had run away, screaming and crying. I ran to our neighbours, and close friends, and told them what had happened. They had called the police and so forth. Luckily, we didn't have to move as Sally was twenty at the time and had an assessment and was told that she could look after me. Now, here we are, living in the same house.

   When we went to bed, I heard Sal sobbing as I lay in bed. I thought about what would happen between Nathan and I. Did I want him to grieve over me for ages or did I want him to live a happy life? Either way, I knew my illness - which he had no idea about - would affect him. I thought for a while that night, unable to sleep due to Sal's crying. I fell asleep at about half three that night - well, morning.

   The next day, I had school. Though Sal had told me that I could stay home, I was determined to keep my life as normal as possible. I woke up at seven o'clock and got dressed. I then did my hair, put on some make up and went downstairs to make some breakfast. Sal dropped me off at school and I headed for the gates, going to meet Nathan.

   "Hey, babe." Nathan said,hugging me and kissing me, on the lips,lightly. "How's it goin'?"

"Alright." I muttered. "You okay?"

"Great." There it was: eight. Well, 'eat', but it sounded like 'eight' and it made my eyes water. "What's up, your eyes are all watery?"

"Nuffin', I've just got something in my eye." I said, blinking fast, trying to stop myself from crying.

   As the day went on, I paid little attention. Like, in Art, Miss Green asked me a question about some artist. I just looked at her, sighed and said "I really couldn't give two shits, Miss."

She exhaled deeply and said "Get out. Now." I stood up and walked out of the room, I then headed for the girl's loo and cried for an hour. I then went to the office and said about how I didn't feel well and had just been sick in the loo. They called Sal and she came and picked me up. She drove me home and I explained what had happened. She just said she understood.

   When at home, I just sat in the spare room and cried. I cried for Mum.I cried for Dad. I cried for Sal and I cried for Nathan, knowing somehow that he'd be hurt. That afternoon, I got a call from Nathan. I ignored it, not wanting to speak at the moment. Whilst in the spare room I thought of how to make sure Nathan would go on in life when I went. I thought that maybe I could tell him, explain to him that I was going to go, let him get used to the idea. I then decided that I could break up with him, let him go and find another fish - I mean, there are plenty, after all. I planned it all out that day, thinking that I'd make sure it was done by Friday.