I Broke His Heart Because I Had To, Not Because I Wanted To

Chapter Twenty Five - Not feeling too good

Chapter Twenty Five

Not feeling too good

   A few days after I'd talked to Kelly, I booked myself a doctors appointment as I wasn't feeling too good. I didn't tell Sal about it though as I didn't want to worry her. When I got to the doctors, my name was just being called out. I went into Doctor Haltzer's office and said 'hi'. He smiled at me and said "How are we doing?"

I took a deep breath and said "Well, we're feeling really weak, tired and slightly sick. We also think it's nearer the time. Are we right?"

"Hmmm, I'd say you're getting near."

"How long?"

"A week. Two at the most."

"Okay." I said, my voice breaking slightly "So, how's it going to happen?"

"Pardon?"

"How am I going to die?"

"I...I'd rather you didn't make me answer that. I can't."

"I'm old enough, I can handle it."

"It's nothing to do with age. It's about the fact that...I can't tell you. I don't want you wasting your time counting down the days and being scared, I want you to make the most of it."

"Mmm hmmm."

"It'll be peaceful." He said after a long sigh.

"Okay." I whispered.

   "So, did you do everything you wanted to?" He asked after an awkward silence.

I nodded and said "Yeah. Actually, I made a list. Here, I want you to read it." I took the folded list from my pocket and handed it to him. He examined the list, chuckling and muttering things under his breath. "Break a bone?" He asked. "Why? I've no information of it on my files."

"I broke it in Italy." I said.

"How and why?"

"Well, many of my friends have broken a bone and I was curious, I suppose. As for why, do you want the truth or the ball o' crap I told Sal?"

"Whatever you're most comfortable telling me."

"Well, I guess someone needs to know the truth. I...I met a guy at the bar and he took me into the gardens and showed me something. We kissed and then...he...he tried to rape me. He didn't and threw me to the ground and I landed on my wrist funny."

"Oh. So, what did you tell Sal?"

"That I tripped and fell on my wrist, which is partially true."

"Oh, Melissa." He said, smiling lightly.

"Okay, I'm gonna' go. Thanks, thanks for everything."

"Anything else you want to know before you leave?" He asked.

"I want to know that you'll make sure Sal is okay. Will you?"

"Anything, Mel." He said, reaching out to shake my hand. I stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist. He hugged me back and said "It's...it's been a pleasure. I'm honoured to have known you."

"Thank you. It was good seeing you before I went." I then smiled and walked home, tears stinging the back of my eyes.

   "One maybe two weeks." I said to Sal when I got in. The colour drained from her face. "I want to tell them, I want to tell the school, personally."

Sal nodded and hugged me.

   Two days later, school started back up and Sal drove me to school after I'd got dressed in skinny jeans and a top that hugged my curves and made my thin frame look great. Sal waited in the car while I went into the school. I went into the office and asked to see Mrs Dately. I was sent to her office. I walked in and sat down in the chair opposite her desk. "Mel. How are you?" Mrs Dately asked, smiling at me.

"So so." I replied.

"So, why are you here today?"

"Ummm, I wanted to talk to everyone in the school, to say 'goodbye' properly. Do you think I could do that?"

"Yes. I'll call an assembly." Mrs Dately announced that there was to be an assembly instantly.

   Mrs Dately introduced me and then I stepped onto the stage. Some people looked at me, confused. I took a deep breath and spotted Nat and Kelly sat near the front of the hall. I saw them smile at me. I smiled back and said "Hey. As you know, I've been on and off at school and, well, I wanted to say 'goodbye'." People started to mutter to each other, asking why I was saying 'goodbye' and where I was going. I took another deep breath and said "I have terminal liver Cancer and I'm going to die. I have a week left to live and I just wanted to tie up loose ends." Nat instantly stood up and ran out of the hall. Kelly followed him. My voice faltered in my throat. I whispered "Bye." before I got off of the stage and went after the two of them going as fast as I could, though, truthfully, that wasn't very fast.

   When I finally found them, they were at the tree that Nat and I had spoken at before I'd passed out.Nat was standing against the tree and Kelly was rubbing his back. I went as fast as I could, walked fast technically, to them. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Why?" Kelly asked.

"'Cos I didn't warn you that I was going to do that but I only found out a couple of days ago. I'm sorry." I turned Nat around so he was facing me and put my hands into his back pockets. He put his hands around my waist and I saw the tears in his eyes. "Nat I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I want you to forgive me and tell me that it's going to be and that you understand." Nat was silent. "Nat? Please." He was still mute. "Nat! Tell me!"He still didn't say anything. It hurt. I pulled my hands from his pockets and went off to the girls loos. Nat didn't try to stop me.

   I sat in one of the cubicles, my back against the wall and my bum on the icy, tiled floor. I cried away and while I cried I didn't hear the door open. I heard Kelly say "Mel! Mel, open the door!" I sniffed and unlatched the bolt. Kelly pushed the door open lightly and said "It's okay, Mel, it's okay. He's just upset. Guys can't handle their emotions like us girls can. You guys will sort it out." Kelly took my hands and helped me up. She then wrapped her arms around me and said "It'll all be okay." I walked to the mirror above the wash basin and looked at my make-up-stained cheeks.

"Kel, get Nat." I said, feeling my legs go weak.

"What is it?"

"Just get him. Please." Kelly was out of the loo and back with Nat a few minutes later.

   He wrapped his arms around me and said "I'm sorry. I don't forgive you." I loooked up at him, confused. "Because there's nothing to forgive. You can't apologise for something like this. It won't be okay. It'll be awful, not having you around and waking up to know that I won't be able to see you. But...I understand. I understand and I promise you that I always will."He stroked my cheek and said "Hun, are you okay?" My knees were buckling and I was feeling like I was about to fall over.

"Nat, hold me." I said.

"What?" He asked, baffled.

"Hold me." I said, my legs starting to go underneath me.

As I began to fall Nat wrapped his arms around my waist and said "What is it?"

"I need to go home. Sal's in the car park." I said. Nat lifted me up bridal style and carried me to the car.

Sal undid the window and said "What is it?" Nat explained about how my legs had collapsed under me and how I had said that I needed to go home. I then said that I needed the three of them. Kelly got into the front and Nat got into the back, me cradled in his lap.

   When we got home, I was put in my bed and had the three of them around me.