I Broke His Heart Because I Had To, Not Because I Wanted To

Chapter Twenty Seven - I'll try for you

Okay, so guys, this is the end of this story. I hope you don't hate me for killing Mel, but that's life. Some people stay and others don't. I just want you to know that, as much as I'd like to say that Mel magically got better and they lived happily ever after (though I could never do that because it would be like cheating you out of the story and I just couldn't bring myself to do that), I'm sat here in floods of tears and sobbing my heart out as I'm writing this. So, yeah, vomment and let me know what you thought of this story. Thanks, Josie, x.

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Chapter Twenty Seven

I'll try for you

Nat's P.O.V

   "I'm right here with you, I'll be here with you the whole time, don't worry. I'll be here, I won't leave you. I'll hold your hand all the time." I said to Mel, holding her hand and watching her as she closed her eyes. I felt tears prick at my eyes. As her breathing became deep and even, I knew she was asleep. For an hour I sat and listened to the Mel's breathing and noticed how it became less even and more shallow. At half one in the morning, she stopped breathing completely. I cried for her, not letting go of her. Sal came in after I'd cried for half an hour with a cup of tea for me. She took Mel's hand while I sipped on my tea. "I'll call the hospital." Sal said, her voice uneven.

"Can I have ten minutes?" I asked. Sal nodded and went back downstairs. I held Mel close and kissed her head. I didn't want to let her go but I knew I had to. So, for the other nine minutes, I sat there and whispered to her. I whispered in her ear about how I loved her and that I couldn't love again. I wouldn't be able to try. I whispered about how I wished that she didn't have to go and that if I could go with her, I would. Then I had it.

   Sal came back in and said that an ambulance was on its way to collect her. I nodded and set her on the bed, lifting the covers over her and tucking her in. Once the ambulance had picked her up, I said I was going to the park. I walked to the park and sat on the bridge above the river, thinking out my life and if it was worth living. As I prepared to launch myself into the water, I felt a gust of wind and heard the leaves rustle. I looked behind me, thinking someone had touched my back. Nobody had. When I turned back to the water, I heard a whisper in my head. It was Mel's voice and it was saying 'Well, I want you to love again. I want you to love again and let them make your heart swell with love like you made mine. I want you to watch out for Kelly. Okay? I want you to do that for me and keep going. Do that for me, okay?' I sighed and thought well, I can't go on without you. I feel so empty and sad without you. I can't live like this.

   Then, I went to launch myself off of the bridge. Again, I heard somebody shout my name. I thought it was in my head again and sighed, tears spilling down my cheeks. Then I heard it again. I turned to see Kelly, running towards me. I sighed, feeling my eyes well up. Kelly grabbed me and said - well, I say she said it, she really shouted it - "YOU IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF DOING THAT?!"

"I...I don't know." I whispered, tears staining my cheeks. "I...I just can't. I can't do what she asked. I can't." I said, my voice getting louder.

"Okay, don't shout. People are starting to stare."

"Do I look like I give two diddly fucking shits?! My girlfriend has just died in my arms and she wants me to fall in love again. I can't, I really can't." Tears were falling down my cheeks like there was no tomorrow. Kelly took my hand, guided me off of the bridge and got me home.

   We sat in my room and Kelly said "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Sal hadn't said that she..." Kelly paused, faltering for the word.

"Died. Yeah, she died in my arms. She fell asleep in my arms and her breathing started to get shallow and uneven. Then she woke and said it was time to go. That's when she asked me to fall in love again. Then she went back to sleep and her breathing stopped at half one. It felt like I was watching her slowly die and I couldn't do anything, like I was just a piece of furniture, or something. Do you know what that's like?" I shouted.

"Yeah. Actually, I do! How do you think I felt all of those weeks that you were crying about Mel and I couldn't do anything to help?! It's awful, I know." Kelly's voice became softer and more empathetic towards the end. She hugged me and said "I know, you feel awful and you can't go on. But, the truth is, you can. You can go on because Mel believed you can. And if you won't do it for me or yourself, then do it for Mel. Fulfil her last request. I mean, what do you think I'm doing? She asked me to make sure you were okay and that you always had a shoulder to cry on, someone to hug, someone to talk to that understands. I'm here for you and I always will be." I smiled and wiped away the tears.

"I'm sorry, Kel. I didn't realise you felt like that."

"Why do you think I had a huge go at her?" I sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. But, come on, it 'll all be alright. Life goes on. We live, love, laugh and die. That's how life goes. It isn't fair. It's a bitch and, well, we just have to make the most of it."

"'Kay. Thanks." I whispered. I then hugged her.

   That night, as I lay in my bed, I fell asleep replaying what Mel had said to me before she had died; 'Well, I want you to love again. I want you to love again and let them make your heart swell with love like you made mine. I want you to watch out for Kelly. Okay? I want you to do that for me and keep going. Do that for me, okay?' I would try. I would try for Mel. I would try to make the best of - this bitch we call - life and hope to meet her again some day.

   Just before I went to sleep, I whispered "I love you, my darling Mel, and I'll try. For you."