Alpha Dhampir~ On Hold

Chapter 22

Dmitri Belikov

Leaving Abe behind the café I was lighter in soul. He knew, or at least suspected, that I had been under compulsion when saying the heartbreaking four words to his daughter. He knew and believed that I would never stop loving her. Ad, he had seen me after she had apparently died, I was a wreck, a shell of my original self. With no one else to blame, a small voice in my head supplied. Telling that voice to take a hike, I wandered around Court, with nowhere in mind, no destination.

Knowing that Abe didn't blame me, that he saw what I had suspected to be the truth, helped me, it felt like a third of the weight I had been carrying since she left, or died as we thought, had been lifted. Now I just had to deal with the remaining weight. I knew half of that was due to still being in love with the woman I had hurt, and the need to talk to her. The other half was similar, but instead of Roza it was Ivan. It had been so secret between the two of us, we were a couple, hidden from everyone except possibly my mother and Babushka. I wanted to talk to him, and I guess, find out if he still cared for me. A part of me thought it was wrong, I was still very much in love with Roza, but I loved Ivan just as much.

God, my mind was a war, World War Three in fact. It was half the reason why I preferred to not being still, doing something that would take over my mind. My thoughts were poisonous, hence why I always preferred to be busy, doing anything but with the arrival of the ghosts of my past, everything had come to light. The fact that they were both alive, Roza and Ivan, was, well a light to the forever darkness that was my life. But I couldn't talk to Roza, no she wouldn't want to talk, the only reason why she had was probably because we weren't alone. So, the only one I could approach was Ivan.

It was easy to find him, he was standing outside the Guardian dorms with a saddened expression, pulling his brows downwards. With my approach, he looked up and smiled. It was weak in comparison of his usual ones, but I guess that was because he was tired from defending me all afternoon or because he could have started to believe Christian and others. I sincerely hoped that wasn't the case; it would be the death of me if he did.

"Dimka."

I didn't mean to cringe at the name, but after Tasha's abuse of the name, I couldn't help it. Ivan, to my dismay saw it, and looked down in shame. Sighing, I stood next to him and bumped him with my shoulder.

"We'll talk inside."

Together the two of us walked into the building and up to my apartment. I guess I wouldn't be able to call it that anymore, not if Roza would accept me as her Guardian. Looking around the sparse room, I urged Ivan, who had seemed to have hidden himself in his thoughts, to the sofa. While he was still with the fairies, I took the time to observe him.

He truly hadn't changed in the slightest. Surf blonde hair that never seemed to sit where he wanted it to, always looking as if he had crawled straight out of bed after having a night of uncontrolled sex. His cerulean blue eyes that always gave away his thoughts and emotions, windows to the soul as my Babushka would say. A body that was typical for a Moroi, but unlike the rest of the snobby royals, Ivan worked out with me in the gym before he was turned. He was just as fit as Christian, who had apparently, after I was turned, trained with Roza not wishing to have to hide behind a Dhampir. He knew, as like Ivan had, that a Moroi's magic could save them; but in the end it wouldn't do much if they couldn't keep themselves out of a Strigoi's grasp. So apparently Roza taught and trained him just as I had her.

I hadn't realised that while I was busy staring at his body, that he was doing the same to me. A hand rubbing up and down my leg brought me out of my thoughts and I turned my head to look more directly at him, rather than viewing all of him. Ivan had a crooked smile, while his brow stood up in amusement.