The Roads To Paris

31

“Where did you go?” I ask him once I find him.
He’s at his locker returning all his books and getting his things, getting ready to leave.

He doesn’t say anything .

Schools’ over and I guess he’s heading home from here.

“Give me a ride.” I say.

“Ok.” He replies

We walk in silence till we get to his car.
He’s about to open his side of the door but I get in his way.
“Seriously D what’s going on.” I ask

“It’s nothing. Can you guys quit bugging me.” He says and tries to get round me.
I block him again.

“You can’t keep saying it’s nothing yet your behavior says the complete opposite.” I say

“And that’s why I said I’m stressed. And now I want to go home and rest but you won’t let me.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit Damien. This isn’t the first day this thing started. I’ve been noticing you’ve been behaving strange for a while now. It’s either you tell me what’s going on now or we’re not going anywhere.”

He looks at me for a long time before saying
“I don’t have the strength for this, please move so I can get in.”

“No. Talk to me.”

“About what? There’s nothing to talk about. I’ve told you everything there is to it, so if you want to psychoanalyze something that isn’t anything then be my guest.”

“Ok. Fine.” I say defiantly.

“What?” He says confused.

“I’ll be your guest. I want to psychoanalyze this situation if that’s what you think I’m doing.”

I pause when I realize I’m about to flare up.

“I just  want to be a good friend. I’m trying to be a good friend. Ever since I came there’s been so many problems. I can’t help feeling things weren’t this bad before.” I say exasperatedly.

“Do you know how it makes me feel? To imagine that all the drama that has been happening since I got here is somehow all my fault? It’s been one bad thing after another, when is it going to end? And on top of that you don’t even trust me enough to tell me what’s going on. If you trusted me you’d tell me. I know I’m new to all this but you can at least try me.”

“It’s not an issue of trusting you or not.” Damien says getting frustrated.

“Then you admit there’s an issue?” I ask

He doesn’t say anything for a while, and feeling disappointed, I decide to get in the car and try my luck another time.

“When you first got here, I was the closest to you.” Damien finally says in a voice that’s barely audible, I almost miss it.

I wait for him to say something else but he seems to want to be taking his time with the details.

“I know. Exactly why it bothers me that you of all people would have second thoughts about confiding in me.” I say to get him going.

“It’s not that. Just let me finish.” He says.

I mouth an ‘ok’ and wait for him to continue.

“And now all of a sudden, you barely talk to me, you’re always spending time with Jesse. I don’t see what’s so great about Jesse anyway, I mean he’s an ok guy but he’s not as fantastic as people make him out to be. When you first got here and you and Jesse weren’t getting along, although I didn’t say it out loud, but I was kind of glad. At least that was one thing I had that Jesse didn’t. A friendship with you. But then all of a sudden you guys started getting close and I already knew it was inevitable that you’d fall for him. Everyone eventually does and it’s so annoying that no matter how hard I try, I’m not able to measure up to him.”

Before I can say anything, a voice comes up behind me.

“I didn’t know  that’s how you felt man. You’ve never said anything about this before.”
It’s Jesse, still in his clothes from practice, with Benny beside him.
“Forget it. It’s nothing.” Damien says.
“No. Don’t stop on  account of me.” Jesse says.
“I’m not stopping on your account Jesse. I’ve said all I need to say.”

“No you haven't. It sounded like you had a lot more to say before I came.” Jesse argues

“And I said I have. Do you want to tell me what I have and haven't finished saying? You're a tad bit controlling Jesse and you're going to have to lay off the attitude if you don't want to end up like your....” Damien doesn't finish the sentence, and I'm guessing because the topic of Jesse's dad is a really sensitive one.

“Like my what? End up like my what? Finish the sentence Damien.” Jesse threatens

“You know what, never mind. It isn't worth it.”

“You've already said it, you might as well finish what you started. I'm gonna have to change my attitude if I don't want to end up like my dad. Isn't that what you want to say?”

“Woah, what's going on here?” London asks

“Yeah, Heaven said she saw Jesse and Benny run over here and we came to see what was going on here.” Mae says

“It's nothing.” Damien murmurs

“It's nothing?” Jesse asks
“It's not nothing Damien. Why don't you tell the girls what's really going on?”

“Stop it Jesse.” I say in a warning tone

“Get out of it. This is between I and Damien now.”

“Don't just tell her to get out like that. You shouldn't treat her anyhow you want to because you know she won't be upset over it.”

“We've been friends for as long as I can remember but you've never wanted to be in control of anything, you've never had a problem with playing second fiddle. In my opinion you've been  too comfortable with just being a face in the crowd. It's not my fault. You can't seriously be blaming me because all of a sudden you realized being the ‘other guy’ wasn't really working out for you anymore. I don't want to fight you Damien. You can't seriously be starting a fight because of this.” Jesse says ignoring Damien's complaint on how he treats me.

“I'm not the one starting a fight Jesse.”

“Then who is?”

“You guys shouldn't be arguing like this. You've been friends for way too long to not be able to talk this out.” Heaven says trying to be the voice of reason

“You are.” Damien says ignoring Heaven

“How?!” Jesse says becoming defensive

“Guys!” London warns

“You knew I liked Paris, I made it pretty obvious I'm sure everyone knew. You just had to come and Jesse things up like you usually do. You were mean to her at first then all of a sudden you started becoming this gentleman and you were so sweet and so charming and so......so....you were so nice to her and it was like you did a complete 360 in a month, it was so confusing. And even though I don't want to date her, it doesn't mean you have to go around and kiss girls your friend likes. That's so....fucked up man! And it's so sick, after kissing her and making her catch feelings for you, you make her follow you around like a lovestruck puppy and you treat her like she's some obsessed fan or something, you don't treat her like you'd treat a friend. You just string her along and then leave her hanging.”

When Damien finishes, he breaths like someone who had just run a marathon or something and the whole speech leaves everyone speechless.

“First of all, I didn't make her do anything she didn't want to.” Jesse starts calmly

“And I didn't know you liked Paris. The only reason I was ‘mean’ to her in the first place was because that was a really bad time in my life and you of all people should know that. And the only reason I was even nice to her in the first place was because of you guys. I wanted to treat her right so you guys wouldn't feel bad. It's not my fault that when I started getting to know her she wasn't as bad as I thought; she's a really amazing person so I didn't even realize it when I started feeling her too. You can't suddenly make this seem like my fault, if you knew you liked her why didn't you tell her? Why wait till now? Why assume that she already understood how you felt? I'm sorry if you feel like I took Paris from you, OK? I didn't mean to, I was only trying to be a good friend. I didn't mean to fall in love with the girl you like.”