John Hughes Movie

Chapter 7

Peter

"That's all for today. Make sure you read the Bell Hooks reading by next class. We will be having a discussion on film & feminism. Be prepared to talk. It goes towards your participation grade." Professor Berry said while shutting down her slide presentation.

I threw my laptop in my backpack and looked over at Lara Jean. I was still amazed that she took notes with a pen and paper. It seemed so wild to me that anyone still did that, but for her it made sense. She got up and looked at me. Her smiling was calming and sweet. She was one of the only people who hadn't been treating me with kid gloves since the break-up. I get why they would, but I hate that everyone had been walking on egg shells with me for three weeks. "What are you up to this weekend? Anything fun?" She asked, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

We started walking down the steps of the huge classroom and entered the hallway. "Nothing set in stone." We landed and stood by a window in the walkway. The light streaming through was dull on this rainy day. Lara Jean was wearing bright red rain boots. She had an innocence to her that made me feel lighter when I was around her. "What about you? Other than dancing through the puddles of course."

She rolled her eyes at me and I couldn't help but chuckle inside. "Working and eating my body weight in tacos hopefully."

"Not going out with your coffee shop Romeo?" I smirked.

"I don't think that's going anywhere. We've been talking for a weeks and he hasn't even tried to make the ask." She shrugged.

I wanted to reply back, but she came into view and I couldn't see anything else. Gen was wearing a long-sleeved sorority shirt and dark leggings. Her hair was clipped back, making her entire face visible. She looked so different from the last time I saw her. The glow that used to radiate around her was gone.

I had finally worked up the confidence to talk with her a few days ago. We met in a neutral place, off campus, away from anyone wanting to spy. Both Trevor and Lara Jean offered to be there for support, but I knew I needed to go at this alone. We sat at a picnic table in Lake Bert Park. Gen talked most of the time, trying to assure me that it was all a wild misunderstanding. She said she still loved me and that we both know that we end up together. She begged to get back together and was shocked when I told her I couldn't. Most of the time I just shook my head, knowing I would cry if I started to speak. Talking about it only made the wounds deeper, the betrayal sharper. She stormed off after she realized I wouldn't change my mind, at least at that moment. I sat in the park for another 2 hours, watching the water ripple & thinking about how everything went wrong.

I was past the point of anger and onto depression. The whole situation made me question myself and my worth. Being a good boyfriend, son, brother & team mate always made me feel like I was worthy of everything in my life. If I could still be so hurt, even when I was trying to be the best version of a boyfriend, who was I? Was I ever going to be good enough?

I snapped out of it when our eyes met. She gave me a small smile, but I just felt nothing. I looked down at my sneakers and took a long breath. Out of my peripherals, I saw Lara Jean's pony tail whip around to see what was going on. "Feeling any better about it today?" she asked.

"It's easier when I don't have to think about it." I shrugged.

"Well then, we love a distraction. Let's come up with one this weekend. Get you out of that head of yours." She sounded way to chipper for this time in the morning.

"There's a party Saturday night. Want to come?"

"Frat parties are not my thing." Her face scrunched.