Love means : Forgiving

Chapter 10 : The Selfishness

Oh Yoonhee's Pov:

Having to get up early because of my best friends phone call...

" Yoonhee-ya, can you drive me to work?" Mari unnie...I thought looking to my side, recognising the naked silhouette underneath blanket. I smiled and got out of bed, I didn't  want to wake her especially knowing how late the latter got back from work last night.

Closing the door behind me. I took a breath and headed to the balcony.
"Unnie, at what time should I be downstairs?" I haven't  had the chance to visit her in  while so i didn't  mind giving her a lift.
" Around 9.30 so you have....40 minutes!"I could hear her really excited  over the phone.

"I'll be there." I hunged up the phone and turned to look at my bedroom door.. I still couldn't believe Suryeon and me were sleeping together under one roof, overnight she comes over after work and we have a 'sleepover'. I felt my cheeks turn red with the last thought and made my way to brew some fresh coffee.

Walking towards the carpark. I noticed everyone was heading off to work and it was super busy. Looking for the familiar figure I walked towards my car. Seeing someone wave at me, that's  Mari unnie.

"Hello stranger" she waved. I smiled.
" Hey unnie, how are you?" We made small talk getting into the car.
" I'm  alright Yoonhee-ya, I am feeling lonely lately. " it breaks my heart to hear her say this.
" Unnie, is it because of Dongpil?"
" It's definitely  hard having a husband who works in Dubai. " I knew it was Dongpil.
" Tell him to come home more often, Jenny has grown up so much. Has he even seen her in the past 4 years?" She fell silent for a few minutes before answering.
"Yoonhee-yah it's easy to say from an outsiders point of view, Dongpil loves me and his daughter. He just hates being at home because of his past mistakes." I saw a tear fall down her cheek.
"I'm sorry unnie, I didn't  mean to upset you." Looking out the window I saw my favourite  bakery in whole of Seoul.
" It's okay Yoonhee..I know you just care."  She gave me a smile and wiped her tear away. "Let's get some steamed buns!"

Parking the car at the side of the road we could see the Han River in the distance. Having our steamed buns at the wooden bench, it felt great. "I missed you unnie.." I said stuffing myself with red bean.
" Sure...."
"What was that supposed to mean Mari?" I asked, thinking her tone was a bit sarcastic.
" It means that you were busy seeing Suryeon almost everyday the past 3 weeks. " shit she saw her?
" I didn't mean to ignore you unnie, it just happened like that." I plead.
" I'm not mad, I'm happy for you. It's  been a long time since you allowed someone  to care for you." Nodding and feeling happy with her statement I continued to eat the bun.
"So are yous dating?" Shit. I had to stop chewing at that.
"I don't  know. I didn't  think we were..." I felt my anxiety rise.
" Is she aware that, that's  how you think?"
I stayed  silent for a minute. Suryeon never asked me to be her girlfriend and neither have I asked her. Do I want a relationship? I wasn't  sure if I'm alright taking on such big commitment. Having as many disorders as I do at the minute, am I ready? I haven't  even cleared my name of Seol-Ah's murder.
" No she is not aware, I don't  think so..."  I whispered.
" Do you want a relationship?" Can Mari read minds?
" I don't  know. I still have so many things to fix unnie. I don't  think she will take this well, I don't want her to feel used because that's not how it is." I said honestly.
" Then you need to talk to her. You can't  be sleeping together and not have things clear between  the two of you." I stayed silent, I know I will lose  her if she takes it the wrong way.
"Unnie I don't want her to leave me, but a relationship might be alot for me at the minute. What can I do for her to understand?" It's a stupid question, I know.
" Yoonhee  you should stop being afraid of having a relationship and just do it. If you don't then you might lose her for real this time." I knew that's what she would say. What should I do.