Savage Wolf, Lotus Heart [Never Let You Go, Again: Book 4]

21: Falling For You All Over Again

Jin Rulan's eyes lost their dazed look and he blinked at the thing he held in his mouth. Sandalwood? Sizhui!

"Sizhui!" He quickly let go. "I'm so sorry! I..."

"It's fine," Sizhui shook his head, rubbing his wrist.

"I'm really sorry..."

"It doesn't pain, really. Wolf instincts?" Sizhui smiled encouragingly.

"Er... I guess so," he nodded and suddenly realised that his ears and tail were showing. He looked around him to find himself wrapped up in a coat, underneath which his tail slipped out. He undid the coat and folded it up, placing it on the table with a thankful nod. Crimsoning fast, he tapped the bracelet: immediately both ears and tail treated into him. "Still... show your wrist."

Sizhui held it up.

"Tsk, see? It's wounded," Jin Rulan bit his lip anxiously and pulled out water, a paste of something, and a hand towel. Without a word, he shoved the scrolls and papers away, grabbed Sizhui's hand, placed it on the table, and dabbed the bite mark with the wet towel and applied the ointment.

"Will I turn into a wolf now, too?" Sizhui laughed.

"Not the greatest time to crack a joke, Sizhui," Rulan grumbled and finished up the treatment, quickly letting go of his hand. "What brings you here?" He asked, putting away what he had brought out.

Sizhui didn't miss the fact that Rulan had avoided looking him in the eye all this time. Sighing, he decided to plunge in. "I came to ask you."

"Ask me what?"

"Why you're doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Distancing yourself from me. Is there something I did wrong? Or something bothering you? Or something anyone said?"

"You never did anything wrong. And I'm not someone who cares for what other people have to say."

"Then what?"

"Sizhui, I really don't want to talk about this."

"But I want to."

"Ah?" Jin Ling looked up, shocked by the fire blazing in Sizhui's dark orbs. Flames of determination.

"I want to. I don't care of you want to talk or not. I want to talk about it."

"Huh? Since when are you... this..."

"Selfish? Since now. This moment on. I'll only stop if I realise you really really hate me, or simply don't want me. If it's just you being insecure, then I apologise for being perhaps the most selfish person alive. I really can't help it," Sizhui's fists curled up and gripped his robes.

"I... What bloody insecure... And who said I hate you?"

"Then is it that you're done with me? Moved on or something?"

"No..." Jin Ling blushed and looked away. "Hmph, moved on? I wish I could," he smirked bitterly.

Sizhui smiled for a moment. So he can't move on. Hmph, I'll force it out of you, you dumbhead. "Then? What's the matter? What are you worrying about?"

"Sizhui..."

"You and I weren't mere friends to separate and make up like it's absolutely nothing. Like your fights with Jingyi. It's not the same. If Jingyi had stayed away from me I'd have assumed it was his arrogance and waited till we could talk again. But I can't do that with you. I can't wait. We aren't just normal friends to be splitting up over something trivial, so I'm guessing there's something on your mind."