I sat in the chair in the middle of the apartment gripping the small towel around my neck as my hair was sectioned off in pieces to cut first and then shave.
It was gloomy outside it was raining all last night and into the morning. It's almost like Mother Nature new how I was feeling about today. Franky was sitting on a chair smiling at me being the good support system she always was.
And for Rudy who called doing this for me was standing behind me with scissors and a razor. It was only us three as I was nervous as is, seeing myself bald for the first time. I didn't want a full apartment to see it until I processed what I was about to look like.
"Just remember shane" Rudy said as I heard the scissors snip behind my head as I watched franky eye the hair falling to the ground. "You are going to look just as beautiful as you are now if not better" he said as I smiled softly.
"Thank you" I said as I gripped the towel a little tighter around my neck the more I heard the scissors do there things.
Incoming ft call from Drew
"You know he's going to call me or franky" Rudy said as I tossed my phone over the couch. "No he-"
"Hey Drew" franky said smiling as she looked over at me as I shook my head.
"Hey sorry franky Shane wasn't answering" he said as she nodded. "In case you forgot your pretty lady is currently shaving her head" she said as she turned the camera towards me as I waved.
"You're trusting Rudy?!" He said jokingly as we laughed. "Hey hey I'm doing a great job so far" he said back defending himself. "Shay can you text me when you're done sense you didn't want me to come over" he said as I sighed not wanting to explain myself yet again.
"I will" I said bluntly with no emotion "thank you love you" he said as I waved at the camera. "Love you too" I said as franky ended the call. "Someone's a little but hurt" she said gritting her teeth as I rolled my eyes.
"He just doesn't understand, he got mad for what, because I didn't want to fucking be bald in front of everyone until I process it for myself" I said blinking my eyes quicker so I don't cry because the subject as is annoyed me.
"I think shay he just wanted to show his support" Rudy said as I sighed looking down at my fingers as my eyes got watery. "Guys I know he supports me I know he's there for me and I know he loves me" I said as my voice cracked as I wiped the tears coming from my eyes.
"But it's hard okay I'm gambling with my life now and I just don't know what to do. I can't be what he expects me to be, this attention this twenty four seven be by my side" I said as Franky frowned feeling how upset this has all been making me.
"Shay we didn't know you where feeling this way have you tried talking to him about this?" She said as I shook my head. "No because I'm scared of saying the wrong thing" I said softly as silence took over all three of us in the apartment as Rudy set the scissors on the counter.
"Want to know what I think?" Rudy said as I nodded. He grabbed the shaver as he stood in front of me pausing on my hair as I looked up at him with tired and sad eyes this was eating me up inside and I didn't know how long it was going to take until I broke.
"First let me ask you" he paused looking at Franky just as invested now in the conversation as I was. "Are you happy?" He said as I looked at him and the back down at my fingers playing with my rings as just that one sentence broke me.
