Purrsonal Catastrophe

9

"Hear me mortal and open this weak passage!" 

Dainsleif opened the door to see the girl he'd crossed paths with once before. "Can I help you?" 

"You liar!" she pointed a finger at him. "You said you didn't know this man!" she pointed at her bad drawing. "I can smell him here! Master Kaeya has definitely been in this residence!" 

"Kaeya?" Dainsleif stepped to the side. "Perhaps you should come inside." 

"Thank you very much, mortal!" She laughed and grinned, stepping inside. 

"Is there a reason you're looking for Kaeya?" 

"You speak very casually of my master," she frowned slightly. 

"Sorry?" 

"Do you know where he has gone? I need to speak with him immediately!" 

"Look, uh..." 

"Fischl," she placed her hand on her chest. "Be grateful for hearing my glorious name!" 

"Fischl," Dainsleif said, "I don't know where he works so I can't really-" 

"You are requiring my master to work for your mortal self?!" Fischl slammed her hands down on the kitchen table. "We must make haste!" 

...

"He works here?" Dainsleif held his knees for a moment to catch his breath. Fischl kept running around claiming to have found Kaeya's scent but it took hours to get here. It might've been faster just to wait for him to come home. 

Dainsleif placed his hands on his hips and stared up at the casino. Why would he get jealous of Kaeya working at a casino? Dainsleif followed Fischl inside through the crowd to a restaurant in the back corner. 

"Oh..." Dainsleif immediately had regrets. Not only was this a place he didn't want to be caught dead in but now he understood what Kaeya meant. It wasn't bad but...he didn't know how to feel. 

"Come hither!" Fischl grabbed his hand and dragged him inside. The two sat down at a table in the back corner and waited. Kaeya, dressed in a bunny suit, walked out to their table. 

"Fischl?" he stared. His bunny suit was very tight up against his skin, leaving little to the imagination as far as what he looked like. Where was he putting his tail? He was wearing a wig similar to his original hair color but somewhat longer in length. A bunny ear headband rested on the top of his head. His choker that he'd received the day before was still around his neck and his chest was nearly fully exposed. "Why are you here?" he asked, before looking at Dainsleif. 

"You must return at once!" Fischl demanded. "Leave this mortal realm behind and come home!" 

"Fischl..." Kaeya sighed. "I'll come back when I want to." 

"We need you now!" 

"Look, we can talk about this later. My shift ends in a bit, okay?" Kaeya walked away. Dainsleif stared daggers into his ass. He tried very hard not to but his eyes kept going back. Seriously, how was he hiding his tail? 

...

"Sitting in this cafe has been incredibly painful for a number of reasons," Dainsleif sighed, holding his face in his hands. He was tired of his embarrassment at this point. Fischl had taken it upon herself to interact with every bunny girl that walked by. She failed to see that they were not actually bunny-people, but humans wearing costumes. 

"Hey, you're kinda cute, when does your shift end?" a male customer aimed his question in Kaeya's direction. 

"Sorry doll, I'm not really interested," Kaeya replied. 

"Sure ye are, I can change your mind in a few hours," he winked. 

"I'm fairly certain I'm not going to change my mind." 

"Fairly certain ain't the same as certain." The guy reached out to grab Kaeya in some form or another and a wild Dainsleif appeared. He held the stranger's wrist and moved his hand away. 

"Your advances have been refused," Dainsleif stared. "Please take your leave." 

"Aw c'mon man, these chicks are just playing hard to get. Anyone who dresses like that has to be ea-" 

Dainsleif clutched his wrist harder, making the stranger wince. "Showing skin is not the same as an invitation to touch," he spoke simply. "If you don't cease your advances I will ask security to escort you out," he paused, glaring intensely now. "Or I shall do it myself." The scared stranger pulled his hand free and ran away. 

"Dain?" Kaeya placed his hand on his shoulder. Even with his generally stoic expression, waves of fury seemed to radiate off of him. He glanced over to Kaeya, glare still on his face, which shocked Kaeya a bit. He stepped back instinctively, removing his hand from Dainsleif's shoulder. "Are you mad?" Kaeya asked. 

"Sorry," Dainsleif's face softened slightly and he looked forward again. "I'm not mad at you. Is your shift over?" 

"Oh, yeah..." Kaeya nodded. "Let me just get my things." 

Kaeya returned, still in the bunny suit with tattered clothes in his hands. "Sorry Dain," Kaeya apologized. "These are yours but someone must've slipped in and torn them up during my shift." 

"They're just clothes, Kaeya." 

"Yeah but with money so-" 

"They're just clothes, Kaeya," Dainsleif repeated. "Have you had a lot of unwanted guests trying to make a pass at you?" 

"I didn't think so, but I suppose one or two really adamant ones have stopped by." 

"Enough chitchat we need to discuss your return!" Fischl crossed her arms and huffed. "Let us make haste!" she grabbed Kaeya's hand and dragged him out of the casino. It was night now. 

"The twins!" Dainsleif slapped his forehead and grimaced. "I thought we would be gone for an hour not this long..." 

"Fear not, mortal, I have sent Oz to look after the small mortals!" Fischl grinned, placing her hands on her hips.

"Oz?" Dainsleif looked to Kaeya for clarification. 

"The raven," Kaeya explained. 

"Is the bird...?" Dainsleif tilted his head. 

"Yes," Kaeya chuckled. "Oz is like me," he pointed to himself. "He prefers to be a raven because he is not fond of his humanoid form." 

"Quickly now!" Fischl ordered, pointing her finger forward and leading the way back to Dainsleif's home. 

"Ah, Fischl..." Kaeya pointed. "It's actually this way." 

"Hm?" she blinked, not wanting to admit she was wrong. She turned on her heel and proudly walked in the other direction. "Of course it was! I was simply testing you."