Purrsonal Catastrophe

14

"Why do we have so many apples?" Kaeya stared at his kitchen counter. It was practically overflowing with various types. 

"It's a long story," Dainsleif replied, taking an apple cobbler out of the oven. He placed it on the counter.

"That smells good," Kaeya grinned, ears twitching. 

"Wait for it to cool down," Dainsleif warned. "Oh, Kaeya..." he paused, not sure how to ask this. 

"Hm?" Kaeya's tail flicked back and forth.

"Are Ruin Guards common?" 

"No, not really. Usually, they are found in ruins or on abandoned paths. They generally don't do anything unless interacted with. 90% of them are broken pieces, not functioning. They're remnants of the old human city." 

"I see," Dainsleif placed his hand on his chin to think, but since he still had oven mitts on it looked a bit strange in his all-black and celestial-themed outfit that Kaeya had given him. 

"Did something happen?" Kaeya stuck his finger into the cobbler and licked it. 

"A Ruin Guard showed up in town today." 

"That is rather strange." 

"I deactivated it." 

"You what?" Kaeya's jaw dropped. "Do you have fighting experience?" 

"No...or at least, I don't think so." 

"How did you...?" 

"I don't know the answer to that. I don't know the answer to why I know any of the things I do but I have another question about Childe." 

"Do you want to know why he is with the humans even though he hates them?" Dainsleif nodded. "He was very interested in the old human city's machinery for a while. He created a suit, Foul Legacy, and was rejected by the people of this realm. He had no choice but to flee for a while or die at the hands of mobs after him. He hated the humans themselves but enjoyed their science." 

"Zhongli isn't a human." 

"What?" Kaeya had grabbed a fork at this point and was eating the cobbler bit by bit. 

"He isn't." 

"What else could he be? He showed no signs of being someone like me," Kaeya pointed to himself. 

"Are there creatures above you?" 

"Dvalin...Morax," Kaeya held out his fingers, trying to think. "Other ancient gods. Barbatos...Ba'al...Beelzebub? I think that was one." Kaeya stared at Dainsleif for a moment. "How did you know he wasn't human?" 

"I'm not sure, but after coming here I think I realized it. Maybe it's the way you smell? He smelled similar." 

"Are you certain you aren't one of us?" Kaeya's eyebrows furrowed. 

"I'm human...I think..." 

"Very confident there," Kaeya chuckled. 

...

"Dain," Kaeya gently nudged him to wake him up. 

"Hmm?" 

"We have an appointment with the Queen." 

"We have a WHAT?!" Dainsleif rolled off of the bed and jumped up. "Kaeya why didn't you tell me about this yesterday?!" 

"Hm?" Kaeya tilted his head and twitched his ear. "We got the summons this morning." 

"I need time to mentally prepare for this kind of thing you should've woken me up several hours ago!"

"But you look so cute sleeping, ~nya," Kaeya held up two of his hands curled up and twitched his ear at just the right time.