BECOMING SUPRA

Chapter 16: Bali: Æsh

I secured the diving board jutting out from the wall of my grandmother's beach-house and dove into the warm frothing ocean. Island life in Bali: swimming, basking, staring out at the horizon for hours on end. I occasionally accompanied my grandmother on her visits to friends but most nights, I stayed in, calming myself into a hypnagogic state, trying to sustain connection for as long as I could.

One day, at the crack of dawn, I woke up to sounds of kicks, punches and sharp exhalations of breath. I got out of bed and peered out of the balcony. On the beach below, a woman was practicing martial arts before the rising sun, her legs gliding, her hands chopping the air, her movements timed with each breath. I hurriedly dressed myself and made my way to the beach.

She watched me approach but said nothing. I sat at a respectable distance, wondering how to break in.

Several repetitions later, I moved in closer and mustered the courage to interrupt her, "You are controlling the violence."

Mid-kick she stopped. "Martial arts is the art of non-violence."

"How so?"

"It is a study of the efficiency of movement, not violence. It teaches you control of mind and body. An indispensable tool because in life you are either in control or are being controlled."

I stood up and introduced myself. "I'm Æsh."

"Jing Fei," she said, extending her hand to shake mine. She was fit, fortyish, a few greys sprouting at her temples.

"Will you teach me, Jing Fei?"

Jing Fei laughed, "Kung Fu is hard work. You need persistence and patience to learn the art. You need mental stamina."

"I lack neither patience nor mental stamina," said Æsh.

"This is a different kind of patience. The kind that breaks you from inside."

"If it's a question of control or being controlled, I would like to know where I stand. Give me a chance."

"It takes years to achieve this level of performance, but since you are insistent let's see if you can handle the next sixty minutes. I'll give you a few tasks, if you quit mid-way, the offer is off the table, if you don't, then I may consider. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"You have to hold three different poses for sixty minutes each," she said, searching my face for signs of hesitation. I moved forward eagerly.

"The first is the 'horse pose'." She squatted deep and wide, holding her fists up by the side of her hips. I lowered myself into a deep squat and positioned my body, mirroring her posture.

"Exactly. I will let you know when the hour is up," she said and stepped away to resume her morning practice.

Watching the rising sun, I divided the sixty minutes into four quarters to keep myself from losing motivation. I knew my muscles would shake, I was going to ignore the ache in order to break the threshold of pain. Once broken, endorphins would release, killing all discomfort and uneasiness. Then all I had to do was wait for each quarter to end.

Jing Fei saw my legs quiver – but I didn't break pose till the full hour was up.

For the 'cat pose', I had to shift the weight of my body in an angled side squat arms raised in a striking pose. My arms started to shiver, my legs started to shake, I held still, ignoring the pain till I felt a surge of endorphins in my bloodstream.

When the hour was up, Jing-Fei asked, "Where did you learn to break the pain threshold at such a young age?"

"I learnt it in prison," I said.

"In Prison? For what crime?"

"Manslaughter."

"Are you on the run?"

"I've done my time. I've learnt my lessons. I'm eager to master control so I never slip again."

"We all have a past. I got into martial arts for the same reason. I refuse to be controlled by my anger any longer. The third pose," she said without breaking, "is called 'leaning forward searching for the sea'."

I had to balance on one leg, raise the other, my hands forming a T in front of me.

Unable to hold the pose, I kept dropping my foot and losing my equilibrium. Though when I resumed position, I managed to sustain balance for a tad longer.

From behind, a man suddenly appeared. He held a staff in his hand and had a flowing white beard and, he was small and inconspicuous.

"He's a natural born student," he said to Jing Fie, then he turned to me, "You lack balance but have strong will."

I straightened to face him.

"Master Xiang, this is Æsh. Æsh this is my father."

"Teach him, Jing Fie. It is through teaching you learn."

Jing Fei considered it.

"It will be a rewarding experience, I can already tell."

Jing-Fei looked at me, nodding as though to herself.