Spotter

An Empty Bed

Two chapters in one day since they were both shorties. And because I want to get through the angst 😂

-Parks 🖤

"Erwin..." Hange nudged him.

They both knew he needed to get up. He didn't have time for this. The deep breath he took drove his anguish down into a sickly feeling in his stomach. His tears stopped, and his breathing steadied. This was far from the first time that he needed to numb himself to the world. His Scouts needed him, and Y/N needed him.

Erwin took another deep breath then forced himself to stand up. He looked at the Scouts around him. They needed to get home.

"The injured are our priority. Get them over the wall and back to headquarters," Erwin hollered out over the crowd. When they all remained in place looking at him, he added, "Now!"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hange whispered while the Scouts around them moved into formation.

"No, but now's not the time."

Erwin melted into the crowd, leaving Hange and Levi behind.

"What the fuck happened?" Levi hissed.

Hange turned to him shaking her head with her eyes wide. "I don't know! She just disappeared. I mean it had to be the MPs, right?"

"Obviously. She wasn't taken because she's one of your nerds, or friend to these idiots," Levi nodded his head to his squad behind him.

They all flinched then scattered in different directions at being caught eavesdropping.

"Catch up to him, and stay by his side," Hange directed Levi as she mounted her horse. "I'll look after the bodies and your squad."

Levi nodded then jogged into the dispersing crowd to get his horse.

~

Erwin stood on top of the wall to oversee the injured as they were carried over. When the last of the Scouts were being lowered down the wall, Erwin zoned out and stared over the city. Y/N could be anywhere. His chest felt hollow as he cut off that thought. He knew where it would go, and he didn't want to end up there.

"Commander."

Erwin thought he imagined the quiet, echoed call of his name.

"Commander!"

This time it was louder. Erwin and Levi looked at each other, confirming that they had both heard it. Erwin stepped forward and looked over the edge of the wall. He could see someone using ODM gear to scale the wall next to the Scouts that were descending into safety.

"Commander! Commander!"

The screaming was loud enough that Hange and a few others looked over the wall, too.

"Is that Connie?" Sasha asked.

They all stepped back as Connie flew onto the wall. He stumbled forward and barely caught himself.

"Are you okay?" Sasha asked and helped steady him.

Connie looked to Erwin and ignored Sasha's concern. Erwin noticed that Connie had a busted lip, one eye was swollen shut, and blood was smeared across his cheek from where he tried to wipe it away.

"He's gone. Ryker escaped."

Erwin's brain stopped. He had been so focused on Y/N being taken that he had completely forgotten about Ryker.

"I'm so sorry, Commander. Someone helped him." He hung his head. "I'm so sorry, I tried to stop them..."

Not now. Now's not the time to think about this. I have to get back to my room, then I'll process this.

"It's okay, Connie," Erwin patted his shoulder once. "I know you did. Thank you for trying. Everything will be alright."

"'Everything will be alright'?! Are you fucking kidding?" Jean snapped.

Everyone but Erwin whipped their heads to Jean.

"Y/N is missing! Nothing is okay. Do you not fucking care?"

"Y/N is missing?" Connie looked around the group.

"Yes, and he doesn't give a shit!" Jean pointed his finger at Erwin.

"Shut up, Kirstein," Levi waved him away.

"No!" Jean turned back to Erwin. "You're the reason she's in danger. She fucking loves you, and you don't even care!" Jean walked towards Erwin. "She deserves someone who will protect her. She deserves better than you," Jean shoved Erwin.

Levi launched at Jean and snatched him back by his collar. When he landed on his ass, Levi punched him.

"Don't ever lay a finger on your Commander again." Levi's fist crashed into his cheek again, then kicked him to force him on his back. He pressed his foot against Jean's stomach. "I will tear each finger off if you ever so much as think about doing something so asinine again."

"Let him go, Levi," Erwin said, uninterested. "He's in love with her."

Jean blushed with wide eyes, and there were quiet gasps of shock around them.

Levi looked down at Jean and chuckled. Jean's blush deepened, and he turned his head away. Levi lifted his foot and stepped back to make room for Erwin, who squatted next to Jean.

"I know how easy it is to love Y/N," Erwin said softly so that only Jean could hear. He stared at the wall next to Jean's head. "But you have no idea how I'm feeling right now. You have no idea what it feels like to be loved by her. The difference here, is that I don't have the luxury of losing myself to my rage." His eyes flicked to Jean's. "Are you going to help find her or not?"

Jean's glare softened. "Yes."

"Then get your shit together before I throw you off this gods damned wall," Erwin stood up and turned to Levi and Hange. "You can handle the rest of this, right?"

They both nodded.

"I'll be in your lab in two hours, Hange. Levi, make sure the bodies of the MPs are there."

Erwin turned and stepped off the wall. He let himself fall for longer than he normally did before his ODM gear pierced the wall.

~

Erwin stood outside of his office; he couldn't bring himself to open the door. The thought of spending another day in that fucking office without anticipating Y/N's arrival was too much. He had really thought they would come back together. You can't avoid your own office and bedroom, he scolded himself.

His unsteady hand turned the doorknob, and he stepped into his office. It was dark and cold. Erwin sighed and shuffled into the room. He barely had the will to stand let alone walk to his empty bedroom. Erwin looked at the couch to his left. He sighed and collapsed onto the leather. This was better than sleeping alone for the first time in ages.

Erwin laid on his back and rested his arm over his eyes. He needed to think, just sit and think in peace for a while.

Each breath completely filled his lungs before he exhaled. As he calmed himself, he decided to go through everything from the first day Ryker arrived at Headquarters. If he could just look at the whole picture, maybe he could figure out where Y/N was.

"Just buy me some time, little one. Stay alive."