Spotter

Nerves

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-Parks 🖤

"Y/N."

One day left of normalcy. I should be enjoying this moment and the entire day. Gods, who knows how tomorrow is gonna go. Fuck.

"Y/N!" Reiner's voice finally pulled her back to reality.

"Shit. Sorry, Reiner." Y/N realized she had been standing still with weights in her hands. She wasn't actually exercising; her arms just hung by her sides as she stared off into space.

Reiner was holding both of their water bottles and said, "Let's go."

"No, it's okay. We can keep working out. I don't have anything else to do."

His half smile felt more understanding than happy. "I'm not paying attention either, but we can go for a walk and call it exercise."

Y/N put down her weights with a sigh. "Thank the gods. Get me out of here."

The two snickered together as they made a beeline out of the gym.

The sky was a deep purple with a splash of pink in the east as the sun began its journey. The air was heavy with humidity, and dew clung to the blades of grass. They walked in silence together around the outskirts of headquarters. Y/N tried to breathe in as much fresh air as she could and take in the sights and sounds. For the first time in years, she was hyper aware of her mortality.

"Honestly, Y/N/N," Reiner broke the silence. "I don't know how the two of you are doing this."

Y/N's smile from hearing her nickname quickly fell. She bristled and got defensive at the implication behind his statement.

"Where the fuck is this coming from? You've known we're together. I talk about him with you all the time, and you don't say anything until now?"

Reiner's eyes were wide for a second before his face relaxed and he laughed. "Relax. I meant..." His face grew serious again as he trailed off. "Aren't you more scared now that you have something to lose?"

Y/N's mouth popped open; she was shocked by how vulnerable he was being. Of course, she was more scared now. Scared that she wouldn't have any more time with Erwin. Scared that one of them would be left alive without the other. This exact fear was why Y/N had happily avoided dating in the past.

"I was actually avoiding that thought entirely but thank you for bringing it up."

Y/N tried to deflect the question and change the subject, but Reiner's face didn't change. She sighed when she realized that he wasn't moving on.

"I'm terrified of leaving him alone."

They walked around the far side of the stables. Y/N stepped over a big root in the path, and Reiner patiently waited for her to continue.

"I know how I'll react when Erwin dies, so I don't trust him to react in a rational way when I die."

"'When.' You keep speaking in certainties as if it's already been decided." Reiner objected.

Y/N just shrugged. "It seems inevitable at this point. Either we both die, or one of us is left alone. I'm just scared of what he'll do if it's him." Y/N turned to look at Reiner. "If you manage to outlive me, make sure Erwin doesn't do anything too rash."

Reiner tilted his head back to laugh. "We both know I'll be dead long before you, probably because I did something rash."

"Y/N nudged his ribs with her elbow. "Quiet, you."

"Who would've guessed it would only take the Commander of the Scouts to get Y/N Y/L/N to take a relationship seriously," Reiner joked.

"Ouch! That one was too mean," Y/N laughed.

~

Y/N and Reiner met the others at breakfast like usual. They all sat at their table after they got their plates, but everyone was quiet this morning. They had all been brought in on the mission, though most of them found out on accident while helping Levi with Ryker. The energy was so strained that Sasha wasn't even bartering anyone for more food.

The nerves about tomorrow didn't seem to actually affect anyone's appetite. Armin was the only one not stuffing his face. Every few minutes he took a few bites before pausing again. Y/N considered asking if he was okay, but she was happy he was eating anything and didn't want to interrupt.

Y/N downed the rest of her tea when she finished eating. She was starting to get antsy now that she didn't have something to occupy her time. Everyone was still quiet even as they finished their own meals.

"We won't have time to eat breakfast tomorrow," Mikasa said as she set down her cup. "So, logistically, this is probably our last time eating a meal together."

"Fuck, Mikasa. It's a bit early for that isn't it?" Jean winced and pushed his plate away from him.

Mikasa looked around at the group, realizing just how sad her observation had been. "Oh, sorry. I just thought it would be better to acknowledge it now instead of after the fact." She pulled her scarf up to cover her mouth.

Y/N wanted to add to the conversation to take the attention off of Mikasa. Connie beat her to it.

Good old Connie, Y/N thought.

"Well, I'll be here either way," Connie huffed.

They had already heard him complain about being tasked with guarding Ryker earlier in the week. He wanted to go with the rest of the group, but Armin had reassured him that it was still an important role.

"You are nothing if not reliable, Connie," Y/N smiled at him.

"Thanks, Y/N," he said and concealed a slight blush on his cheeks.

"And no matter how tomorrow goes," Y/N continued. "I'm very grateful to have been tossed in with the lot of you, and these breakfasts have made getting up every morning easier."

Most of the table smiled, but Reiner stuck his tongue out.

"Enough with the niceties. Let's get down to the nitty gritty. This is our last chance to ask the questions we've all been holding on to," Reiner's smirk was unsettling.

The entire table looked at him, waiting to see what would come out of his mouth next. He turned his eyes on Connie and leaned in.

"So, Connie... What does the Commander look like naked?"