I lost myself loving you || a.hotchner

7

Things really were really slow with us, yet I preferred it that way for once simply because it made us savor every moment that we had together. We weren't in a rush and it made me feel like he wanted it to be like that to ensure he'd never leave. And it made all of our firsts together so much more special.

The first time that we had held hands was on our third date at some state fair Hotch insisted that we go to and I remember holding hands as we ran to the car for shelter when it started to pour down rain, the smile that was on Hotch's face was engraved beautifully in my head. I remembered thinking no one in the world was as gorgeous as he was. I still think that he still is.

About a month and a half or so of us going on dates together it took until Hotch asked me if I wanted us to be official. And of course I had said yes, I mean why wouldn't I? I remember how happy we were, I never seen him smile as much previously until that night. And that night was also the night that we first had sex and that first night I had realized Hotch didn't like to be in control as much as he let on.

In fact, he wanted nothing more to be just and only submissive in the bedroom and I had absolutely no complaints. Who would, really? Seeing him kneeling in front of me, sweaty and painfully hard, begging me to let him cum. It was an image I'd never forget, one I didn't want to forget. The pure look of absolute joy and ecstasy when I finally let him was another image I'd never forget. He was really something special. Addicting, truly. It was kinda fun to mess with him a bit too.

The day directly after specifically, I was really adamant on messing with him as much as possible, I just couldn't help it. I walked in his office to hand in a few reports that I had finished after lunch to see him writing away at reports, a stack of completed ones next to him letting me know he hadn't taken a break to eat or just like breath. I doubt he even blinked much. "Did you take a break to eat yet?" I asked curiously, gently placing my reports on his desk and he looked up at me, like a deer caught in headlights. That answered my question almost immediately, I didn't even need a verbal answer.

"Uh.. yeah. Uhm Yes, I did." He says and I raised my eyebrows at him. "Oh you did?" I ask and I noticed him swallow harshly. "I'm the boss I can-" He started but he couldn't even get the words out which only made me smirk more. "Oh I'm so sure you are hm? So you were lying to me?" I ask and he slowly nodded as his eyes met mine, soft and doe eyed. He's so incredibly gorgeous I hope he knows it as much as I think it. "You bad boy. You know better." I scold, leaning forward as I placed a hand on his desk and he swallowed harshly, looking down before looking back up to meet my gaze. "Ma'am?" He asked quietly and I had to hold back a smirk. He's asking me to tell him what to do.

"I want you to stand up quickly, try and look really pissed and close your blinds. Say some random words while looking pissed as you do so to sell it. We're gonna have a private conversation." I say and he slowly nodded. "Do it now, preferably." I say and then on cue he slammed his hands down on his desk and abruptly stood up, I jumped back a little, caught off guard as he said the most random words as he walked over, gaze not leaving me as he closed the blinds. I slowly stepped back and over to his door, locking it without a word.

"Did I do good? Was that alright?" He asked and I slowly stepped towards him, fiddling with the end of his tie before looking up to meet his eyes. "Why didn't you take a break?" I ask, running my hand down his front and I heard his breath hitch in his throat. "I wanted to get it all done so I didn't have to stay late tonight. I was hoping to spend tonight with you. I'm sorry I lied to you, Miss." He apologized and I could feel his hands start shaking slightly as he placed them on my upper arms.

"I'm not sure if I want to punish you for lying to me or if I want to reward you for being so thoughtful." I muttered, grazing my fingertips over the very prominent bulge in his pants and he whimpered, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth as he stared down at me with wide pleading eyes, the smallest whimper leaving his lips. "Hm.." I trailed off, like I was thinking about it really hard. I fully grabbed him through his pants and his grip on my arms tightened slightly as he let out a gasp, bucking his hips forward for more friction and I simply smirked.