I lost myself loving you || a.hotchner

14

I couldn't believe what I was seeing right now. "Who is she, Aaron!?" I was so mad I swore I was seeing red. My hands were shaking and I could feel my eyes stinging. I never felt so betrayed in my whole life and I've been through some shit. We both have been. He looked confused and I wanted to throw the phone at him. How.. dare he.

Neither of us had passwords on our phones, yet neither of us had anything to hide so we never go on eachothers phones. The only time we do is to answer calls for one another in case it's important but we never actually go through stuff. At least I don't. But while Aaron was downstairs doing paperwork he needed to catch up on, his phone kept buzzing on the side table of his side of the bed. I figured it was important so I grabbed it to go and give it to him but stopped in my tracks as the screen lit up and in the notification bar I saw a text from an unknown number saying "I wanna see you:(( please respond baby</3" and I flipped. I immediately opened his phone, clicking the number to read all the texts.

Unknown: hey we should get coffee or something I really miss you:(

Unknown: we were so good together, I love you babe

Unknown: I know you're there cmon Aaron answer me :p

Unknown: I wanna see you:(( please respond baby</3

I would've texted asking who it is but I was so mad I immediately left the room, heading downstairs, phone gripped tightly in my hand. I felt like crying and I could feel my eyes starting to sting at the thought. After all we've been through, it meant nothing? The miscarriage was only two months ago. "Who is she Aaron?" I ask as I approached him and he looked up from his paperwork, genuine confusion on his face. "What's going on are you okay?" He asked and I wanted to scream at him. Either he's manipulating me or genuinely oblivious but the messages are on his phone. I held up his phone, expecting his face to drop or something but he still looked confused.

"What do you mean who is she? The only women in my contacts are JJ, Garcia, Prentiss, Strauss. People you all know.. honey what happened?" He asked again and I couldn't even speak I just slide open his phone, and thrust it forward for him to grab. He read the messages and he immediately groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I blocked three numbers from her already. Look see I'll block it again that's why it's Unknown." He says and I just stared at him. That means nothing. "So you know her and she's calling you baby?" I ask and he hit the block button before putting it down, standing up but I took a step back and his face dropped and his eyes saddened.

"I don't want to hear any excuses. We just lost a pregnancy and you're cheating?" I ask, hurt evident behind my words and his face dropped further and he looked sad. He wasn't doing his lying tell either which was conflicting me. The corner of his mouth twitches when he's lying, he doesn't know as it's subtle but I've picked up on it. It's not happening and hasn't yet. "Y/n I'm not. It's my ex from back in college. We ended badly and she's been obsessed with me. She on and off through the years harasses me and I'm almost postive she does it now to just get under my skin because she knows it annoys me." He says. Still not doing his tell at all.

"I find it hard to believe a girlfriend from college is still obsessed with you if you don't see her at all." I say and he looked defeated. "Y/n how would I ever have time to cheat. I'm at work with you and when we're not at work we're here. Look through my whole phone I.., you're all I've ever wanted." He says and I kept fighting with myself. It didn't make sense to me yet he seemed sincere. "I.. Aaron I don't believe you I really don't." I say while shaking my head and he sighed. "What do you want me to say? I'm not lying to you I swear." He says and I just shrugged.

"I'm gonna finish my work and then we're talking about this. We need to communicate. I understand how bad this looks and I get why you're upset but I swear on everything you're the only woman I talk to, Y/n." He says and I pressed my lips together tightly before sighing. "Alright. I don't really want to talk to you right now because despite my calm demeanor I so badly want to scream at you and cry so I'm gonna step out." I say and he stepped forward to stop me from doing so but I hurriedly stepped back and hurt flashed in his eyes. "Y/n.. please don't go." He says softly and I wanted to cry. So I did.