I lost myself loving you || a.hotchner

9

I watched as the man who broke in stopped, his knees buckling before he hit the ground, thick red surrounding his body as he went limp on the ground. I turned, two cops stood in the doorway, guns drawn. "We got an alert that a security system went off and were told to proceed with lights out." The one spoke up, holstering their guns. "My security system actively calls 911 after the pin isn't put in, they heard everything." Hotch says, slightly out of breath with fear yet all I could do is fall forward, pulling him into my arms tightly. "I thought I was gonna lose you." I mumble and he shook his head, pressing his face into my neck. "You won't. Never. Not unless you want to." He mumbles holding me back just as tight as he could.

"Dispatch we had a 10-57, suspect was armed and ready to fire. Possible 10-54. Ambulances needed for vic and suspect." The one cop spoke into his radio. The police took our stories, though it was recorded through the call the security system made so it didn't matter all that much, it was just a precaution I suppose. Two ambulances arrived, one to take the dickhead who I hoped was dead and one for Hotch who was still bleeding a bit. He got pants on and I did as well, parmedics requested he keep a shirt off till they asses his wounds. I grabbed my shirt off the floor before we left so I could give him his once we got to the hospital. I rode in with him, and when we got under the bright fluorescent lights, I was able to see his wounds clearly as they got cleaned.

It made me feel sick to my stomach to see him bleeding like that. "The wounds are superficial, they probably bled a lot do to the stressful situation. Wounds tend to bleed more when your body is tense. This one needs a single stitch right there but nothing too bad." The paramedic says and Hotch turned to smile at me. "See? I'm okay." He says and I shake my head. "I hurt you." I whisper and he tilted his head towards me, looking at me softly. "You had to in order to save my life. I told you to. I forgive you and I'm proud of you for doing what was right." He says and I reached out to grab his face gently. "I forgive you too. Thank you for not killing me." I say, a slight joking undertone to the last sentence and he smiled at me sweetly.

"Hey and I meant what I said in there you know. I love you, Y/n." He whispers and it was like suddenly it was only us and no one else. Our surroundings blind to us. "I love you too Aaron." I whisper, leaning forward to softly kiss him. Once we arrived at the hospital, I waited till they stitched and bandaged up his arms before calling the rest of the team, changing out of his shirt and putting mine back on. I noticed the red splotches on my white shirt and winced. I only needed a bandaid for my neck, he needed to be hospitalized for his wounds.

"Stop thinking so much. We are okay now." Hotch says softly, giving me a smile that warmed my heart and I almost leaned over to kiss him but stopped as I heard footsteps approach, a knock on the door before multiple people entered, the rest of the team. "Are you guys alright? Oh my poor babies." Garcia says, leaning over to engulf me into a hug before doing the same to Hotch. "We're fine, both of our wounds were superficial, I only needed a single stitch. The guy who broke in was pronounced dead when the EMTS arrived. I'm just glad he didn't have the chance to do this to anyone else." Hotch says and I softly nod.

"What were you guys doing up so late? Did you stay the night?" Rossi asked and I gave Hotch a look before turning to look at Rossi. "We had to talk about the fight we had at work and how inappropriate it had been for us to argue in such a setting. By time we finished dinner and watched a movie I had accidentally fell asleep on the couch and Hotch was very kind enough not to wake me." I say and he hummed with a nod and Emily gave me a knowing look and I had to hold back a giggle at the look she was giving me. She knew. I can tell she knows. After Hotch was cleared to leave, he made everyone leave the room to talk with me and I fiddled with my bloodied sleeve nervously.

I still felt bad no matter how much reassurance he could ever give. I'd never forgive myself for this ever, at least that's how it felt. "I wish that you'd get out of your head, Y/n. Allow yourself to feel my forgiveness, please? Hey." He says grabbing my hands and I looked up from the floor to meet his gaze, soft brown eyes of comfort. "I forgive you. You did it to save my life." He says and I felt tears swell up into my eyes once more as I stared at him. "You almost died for me." I say and he smiled, like a genuine smile and nodded. "I'd do it again." He says and I playfully shove one of his shoulders. "No you will not. You're not allowed to scare me like that anymore got it?" I say and he smiled knowingly with a nod, pulling me in for a tight hug.