My American Oneshot Book

Oneshot 106

Lymphadora

countryhumans x hetalia crossover

hehehehe, who's ready for some chaotic crack?

Hetalia characters will be referenced by their human names to avoid confusion~

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Meetings were always chaotic for our nations, this much is true. Something always managed to happen to throw everybody off course and have total discord take over. There have been many different distractions that led to discourse: pies being thrown, America laughing under his breath while Canada and he talk shit with sign language (if only they knew Britain knew it as well), Russia creeping up on Lithuania and America, and of course Italy's famous "PASTAAAAA~".

But, I don't think any of them were prepared for this~

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE MY FLAG ON YOUR FACE?!" Alfred pointed at the seemingly strange humanoid creature with his flag pattern for a head.

"YOUR FLAG?! ARE YOU ONE OF MY CITIZENS?!" the other exclaimed excitedly.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! IT'S THE REVERSE PAL! I'M AMERICA!" the other blinked once and laughed.

"Hahaha! That's funny! I didn't realize my citizens could joke so well!" he smiled, "anyway, I'm America, or Meri, whatever floats your boat!" Alfred's eyes twitched as the man talked.

"I say, mine looks rather gentlemanly~ I do not mind him," Arthur spoke fondly as he looked at United Kingdom. America's brow twitched more and he looked to him.

"Iggy! That isn't you! You are ENGLAND! That's the UK's flag!"

"There's a difference here?" UK asked Arthur. Arthur shook his head, which is when Francis chucked a book at the other blonde. It hit him square in the head, making the Brit yell in pain and rub the spot.

"You black sheep of Europe! I'm telling Scotland you said that!"

"You can damn well try, cheesy monkey!" France looked on in horror as Arthur and Francis began to fight. Matthew groaned and stood up, making his countryhuman counterpart look at him worriedly.

"Alfie, I'll get Dad and you get Papa,"

"Got it, Mattie!" Alfred smiled and snatched Francis' waist while Matthew put his arms under Arthur's shoulders. The two younger ones pulled the father figures apart and sighed. The countryhuman FACE all looked in awe at the chaos.

"Iz zis common?" Germany whispered to Ludwig, who nodded with his arms crosses.

"Hey! Germany, check it out! I have two!" Italy squealed happily as he hugged Feli and Lovino.

"Ve? Technically, you have three if you count Sebastian," Italy began to cheer at the fact that he had three human counterparts.

"Your ears are so pretty~ May I pet them?" Kiku asked as he looked to Japan. She nodded and tilted her head.

Meanwhile, Russia and Ivan were testing who could handle more vodka. Both China and Yao were trying to stop them, but it wasn't working.

"Aiya, Ivan! You need to stop! As the oldest, I think it is best!"

"Russia, come on! Don't try-wait! Did you just say 'aiya'?!" China dropped the nearly intoxicated Russia, causing him to face plant on the ground.

"Yes, why?"

"That is so stereotypical! It makes all Chinese look bad!"

"I have been saying it for four thousand years, aru! I will not stop now!"

More arguing began to echo through the hall, when Gilbert came in with some documents.

"Vest, I have some papers from jour boss!" Ludwig nodded and motioned for Gilbert to come forward.

"Danke, Bruder,"

"Bruder, who is zat?" Germany asked. Gilbert laughed and pointed to himself.

"I am ze awesome Prussia! My country is no longer around, but Vest und America made it so I could represent Eastern Germany," Germany looked in wonder, as did America and most of the other countryhumans.

"So, wait, my country helped you survive?" America asked, fixing his black sunglasses.

"Duh! Gil and I are total bros! Awesome besties for life!"

"Man, I vish Matthias vas here, he vould get a kick out of this!" Gilbert hugged Alfred's shoulders as the two laughed.

"I didn't get to meet Prussia informally where we are from," America said sadly, "it was always business,"

"Prussia isn't around anymore?" Matthew asked, and Canad shook his head.

"When a nation no longer exist, they crumble to bits,"

"Kinda like how nations fade here," Yao explained.

"Da, Soviet crumbled after the Cold War," Russia explained.

"Soviet had a separate personification?" Alfred and Ivan asked in unison. Both countryhumans nodded.

"Did he not here?" America asked.

"Nyet, Fredka and I were just having a-"

"Vanya, don't you dare!"

"Lover's spat," Ivan smirked and Alfred groaned.

"Yeah, a 'lover's spat' that made the world shit themselves," Lovino growled.

"I 'ave to agree with Lovino, jou two sure did give ze world a scare," Francis explained. Alfred rolled his eyes and then smirked.

"See if you get any ass tonight, Sir Soviet," Alfred smirked as Ivan's eyes snapped open.

"Nyet, Fredka! I'm sorry!"

"Nope, no sex for a week~"

"What can I do?!" Ivan begged with large puppy dog eyes. Russia and America were gaping at the two.

"What is wrong with you?!" Russia shouted as he attempted to walk over, but America stopped him.

"Come on, Ruski, let's see where this goes,"

"You are stupid, my capitalist comrade!" Ivan looked at Russia with anger.

"You two do not get it! Fredka is the best lover in the world! No sex means I have to rely on my photos, and it isn't the same!"

"To much information, aru," Yao rubbed his temples. China chuckled and gently pat his back.

Chaos continued until the countryhumans began to fade. They all said their goodbyes and left the Hetalia universe with a little change in perspective~