I didn't take my meds today.
Two days ago Caitlin Adams asked if I was bipolar because I was into her on Monday but by Friday I had figured out that she was too demanding.
But those words, that question... it seeped into my soul and tarnished my tho...
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DR SUCRE'S gynaecology office was minimal, it smelt like chlorine and had pamphlets and flyers on women's health lining the walls.
I picked at the skin around my nails unable to keep still. My father sat right beside me, he was the only male in the waiting room and I'm pretty sure he sat judging every single lady here.
"Fearne Rosenberg." The doctor called out. My father stood up immediately and walked ahead.
"You're not Dr Sucre." He pointed out rudely.
"Dr Sucre is out of town right now, I'm Dr Gorman." He held his hand out in a professional manner but my father refused to shake it.
Instead he looked down his nose at the new doctor. Silently I prayed my father would drag me out of here, refuse to let me get treated by someone so young and in his eyes unqualified.
"I promise I have all my diplomas and credentials to back up my profession, you can see them if you'd like." Dr Gorman offered, clearly reading my fathers mind.
"I don't have time, just let me know what you find." My father sat himself back down in the seat and folded his legs across one another, picking up a newspaper. Timidly I followed Dr Gorman into his office.
"So Fearne, we'll run through a few questions if you don't mind?" I sat stiffly on a green chair, it was lined in a scratchy fabric that irritated my skin yet I couldn't help but rub my hand against it roughly.
"Are you sexually actively?"
"No." He typed into his computer.
"Are you currently on any birth control?"
"No, I'm not sexually active so I don't need that."
"Okay." He typed into his computer. "But people take birth control for other things besides just contraception. It could aid your hormones, help regulate your cycle, clear up acne." He trailed off.
"My cycle is fine. Regular. Fine."
"Okay, good. That was my next question." He gave me a friendly smile. I couldn't take to him though. I never understood male gynaecologists, to me they were all creepy. "Any ovary pains particularly around ovulation?"
"Nope." I leaned forward and grabbed a breath mint from the glass Pyrex bowl, unwrapping the paper and popping it into my mouth.
"So what exactly are you here for Fearne?" I toyed with the plastic wrapper between my fingers, the small crinkling sound filling the silence of the room.
"My father wants me to have a hymen examination, he needs to know that I'm still a Virgin. You know, a premarital exam?"
"Hmm."
"What?" He took off his thinly framed spectacles and scratched his head with the ear piece. "You can break your hymen a number of ways, gymnastics, horse riding, swimming. If you don't have a hymen it doesn't necessarily mean you're no longer a virgin. There are even some women who are born without one."
