I didn't take my meds today.
Two days ago Caitlin Adams asked if I was bipolar because I was into her on Monday but by Friday I had figured out that she was too demanding.
But those words, that question... it seeped into my soul and tarnished my tho...
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LEXIS BED wasn't any comfier than mine. For two hours before he fell asleep he begged me to speak to him. He apologised profusely. He asked me for an explanation. But what other explanation is there besides 'I'm fucked up.' None. So I stayed silent and faced away from him.
This morning when I woke up, he was gone. I wasn't sure when he left or where he went, I just knew he wasn't here. I threw the cover off me and looked at the contusions on my thigh, the ones he had the displeasure of seeing last night.
They looked bad, grotesque.
I wanted to cut myself. I wanted to grab my compact mirror and cut into my flesh. I wanted to see the blood pour and feel the sting. But instead I bit my nails to bloody stumps and nibbled at the skin around the edges.
Lexi painted Cams nails next to the campfire and I continued chewing mine raw even though there was nothing left.
We all turned towards roars of laughter in the distance and Arlo walked through the crowds holding his hands up to everyone with a cocky expression on his face. He wore nothing but last nights black boxer shorts and danced through the mass of human bodies seductively.
"What the fuck Arlo?" Lexi asked him as he past by us. "Where are your clothes?"
"Hooked up with someone in the forest last night, it was a bit wild."
He explained, my heart plummeted and I swallowed down a lump. His solemn eyes met with mine as he walked past me and disappeared inside our cabin. Lexi and Cam turned to face me with sympathetic glances.
"We're not together." I told them, feeling the need to defend him, I wasn't sure why because the honest truth was that my heart was shattering into unfix-able pieces.
"Go kick his ass Fearne or I will." Lexi demanded.
"Lakeland's got talent will commence right after breakfast down by the lake!" Principal Moore shouted.
"I'm gonna go get a jacket before the breakfast horns toot."
When I returned to my cabin Arlo was sitting on the edge of the bed, wiping the mud from the soles of his feet with a scowl on his face. He looked up at me momentarily but then lowered his gaze back to his foot.
Things felt awkward between us. So I ignored him and headed straight for my drawer, fishing out a burgundy hoodie and wiggling myself into it.
His focus was solely on his feet. He kept scrubbing and scrubbing but the dirt was long gone. My footsteps were light as I walked towards the door, trying not to be seen or heard but as I reached for the handle guilt consumed me so I turned back around.
"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.
"Why wouldn't I be?" He snapped, not taking his eyes off of his foot. Scrubbing and scrubbing until the paper towel ripped apart. Then he grabbed another one.
