I didn't take my meds today.
Two days ago Caitlin Adams asked if I was bipolar because I was into her on Monday but by Friday I had figured out that she was too demanding.
But those words, that question... it seeped into my soul and tarnished my tho...
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The evening was closing in, the sun painting the sky with the prettiest of pinks and oranges. Liam had set up a fire pit where most of the adults gathered under blankets. I couldn't believe how informal their Sunday lunch was, everything was easy with them and they seemed comfortable around one another, it was refreshing.
I noticed Henry sitting on the grass playing with his bus. Or more like spinning the wheels of the bus with his finger and watching them move but not actually doing anything more with it.
Admittedly I had avoided him since I caused his meltdown. I just got the feeling like he didn't like me, he has never once spoken to me.
I sat next to him, without being in touching distance.
"Hi, Henry. I like your bus." He didn't look up from his bus. He didn't even acknowledge I was there. "You know I have never been on an open top bus like that before but I always wanted to, have you?" He ignored me completely.
"I like the green colour on this one, but I think I'd like it better if it was Red. You know, like the ones in England. What's you're favourite colour?" More silence.
"I like it when they put movie posters on the side of busses, it makes them more interesting. This one time, not at band camp, this girl had a birthday party on a bus. It was a special bus with a ball pool and climbing ropes. I wasn't allowed to go but it looked really cool and I think you would have liked it."
He didn't acknowledge me and I sighed.
I frowned and he just continued to spin the wheels. "You never talk to me or look at me. I'm sorry I tried to cut up your dinner, I just wanted to help you. You let Arlo touch you, cut up your dinner. You don't like me much, do you?"
He got up and ran off in the opposite direction and I felt sad. I think I upset him, again.
"He's not rude." I stood up straight and turned around to see Arlo.
"I never-"
"He's non verbal." My brows furrowed and I looked back at Henry who had picked a new spot to play in. He is non verbal, as in he can't speak?
Arlo walked to the swing set and sat down. I followed him, although I wasn't entirely sure if I was meant to.
"Just because he can't speak back to you doesn't mean he doesn't want to be spoken to. A lot of people feel uncomfortable talking to him so they avoid it. He can't express it but I know it means a lot to him that you try." He began to sway backwards and forwards slowly on the swing.
"That's sad." I admitted. "Why can't he speak?" Arlo stopped swinging and looked at me with a questioning expression.
"He has autism."
"Oh." I uttered quietly. A peaceful silence settled between us as I gathered my thoughts. "You're really good with him." He laughed and I smiled at him.
"He really likes me for some reason. Maybe it's because he sees that I'm different too."
"Because of your ADHD?" Arlo shook his head and smiled sadly.
"ADHD barely scrapes the surface Blossom. ADHD doesn't cause manic episodes and bouts of depression. Bipolar disorder does."
"Bipolar." I repeated, letting it sink in.
"Yep. Bisexual. Biracial. Bipolar." He sucked in his lower lip and looked at me with this deeply penetrating gaze. "They're not just real problems for you Blossom, they're real problems for me too."
"Arlo, I-"
"That's why the school won't let me go on the retreat because I'm fucked up and fucked up people don't get to do normal things."
"I'm sorry."
"They say I'm crazy, I'm dangerous, I'm violent and unpredictable." He laughed in-genuinely. "But I guess you know all of that first hand."
"I don't know what to say because I don't want to say the wrong thing." I admitted.
"What and set me off?" He laughed.
"No!" I panicked.
"Arlo?" Chloe came to stand in front of the swing set. "Can you take me and my friends to the concert on Friday and then sit with us at five guys?" She placed her hands together like in prayer.
"No chlo, your friends give me the creeps." She glanced at me and smiled.
"Pleaseee Arlo, I'll get you a ticket. I promised Shelby that you would come. You know she likes you, pleaseee." She begged.
"No way, ask Jamie." He started swinging again.
"Arlo if you don't do it I'll tell Fearne embarrassing stories about you." She winked at me.
"I don't care, get outta here!"
"Are you sure because she'll destroy you with the things I can tell her. Like how you have a big crush on Mrs Walsh."
"I don't." Arlo told me.
"He does." She counteracted. "Or how about his completely irrational fear of raisins." I laughed.
"Raisins?" I questioned with a smile.
"It's not irrational, they're wrinkly and disgusting. Along with prunes and dates. They remind me of an old mans ball sack and for that reason I don't want them anywhere near me."
"Okay, well I'm sure you won't want her to know that you used to make me watch the-"
"Fine! I'll take you." Arlo shut her down and she smiled smugly. "But I'm not happy about it."
"You promise?" She asked.
"Wait though, I want to know. What did he make you watch?" Arlo widened his eyes at Chloe and she raised her eyebrows at him.
"Fine, yes I promise." He answered.
"The power puff girls on repeat. Can't take it back! You promised! Cant break your promise!" Chloe said quickly.
"Chloe!" Arlo blushed! He actually blushed and I smiled like the Cheshire Cat.
"He told everyone it was because I wanted to watch it but I didn't even like it, he just wasn't man enough to admit that it was his favourite show." She continued.
"That's enough Chloe, go away." Arlo gave her a small shove which didn't even knock her back.
"The power puff girls... what was the redhead called again?" I asked slowly.
"Chloe." Arlo warned.
"The red one! He had a massive crush on her..." Chloe was wrecking her brain trying to remember the name and Arlo was threatening her with his eyes to shut up.
"Blossom." Both Chloe and I said in unison and Arlo lowered his head in shame as I laughed uncontrollably at his expense.
