I didn't take my meds today.
Two days ago Caitlin Adams asked if I was bipolar because I was into her on Monday but by Friday I had figured out that she was too demanding.
But those words, that question... it seeped into my soul and tarnished my tho...
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My converses made tracks up the path and I couldn't stop looking at the hare ornaments lining the way.
It had been six months since I was last here, taken away because I was neglectfully underweight.
The hares now looked discoloured, faded under the south-facing sun. You noticed things like that when you had been away for a while but when you see them every day there's never any change.
It might've been a metaphor for people. Little by little, over time they change. I changed a lot, I only hoped my father did too.
"My sweet Fearne." My neck cranked up to look at the man responsible for my presence on this earth.
He radiated authority, grey streaks flowed through his dark hair. There were more now than ever before. Thick wrinkles creased his forehead and around his eyes, not caused by a lifetime of smiles but instead frowns and disappointment.
"Father." I greeted sweetly.
He pulled me in close, a smell of pipe tobacco and resentment annihilated my insides like battery acid. His eyes dark and hollow, suspicious and distrusting.
I watched Liam with Jamie, he attended every soccer game, supported him from the sidelines with epic cheering and love - even when they lost.
I watched Zak with Lexi, he encouraged her to be herself no matter what that looked like and for that reason she was independent, strong and courageous.
I watched Jordan with Arlo, the love they had for one another was simply unconditional. Jordan fought in his corner always and never made him feel bad about any of his struggles.
My father looked down his nose at me, assessing my outfit, doubting my purity, evaluating my body size. There was nothing paternal about this man.
"Won't you come in child!" He snapped. "Thank you for bringing my Fearne home to me, that will be all your service is needed for." He closed the door in Janets face and ushered me further into the house.
It felt smaller but somehow less homely. Everything was dark wood and dust but the golden sunlight shon through the flowery net curtains casting patterns of light and shadows around the room.
"Tell me about your journeys child, you've certainly been eating well." I twanged my bracelets against my skin.
"They put me in a temporary home for about a month and then placed me with a violent family for six weeks, the man hit me around a lot but then they ended up getting arrested and I got ripped away in the middle of the night and placed with another family, they were... kind." I held back the tears but you could clearly hear the lump in my throat through my words. I missed them already.
"Have you been keeping up with your faith?" Buzz in my head was like static, it was making me nauseous. I knew he only had one burning question on his mind.
