I didn't take my meds today.
Two days ago Caitlin Adams asked if I was bipolar because I was into her on Monday but by Friday I had figured out that she was too demanding.
But those words, that question... it seeped into my soul and tarnished my tho...
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"What were you thinking!" Liam complained as Jamie followed Liv around the kitchen eating the food she was preparing for dinner. "I had to get on the phone and apologise to Principal-suck-a-dick, you know how humiliating that was?"
"Arlo started it, he was acting insane." He shrugged with a mouth full of green-beans. "Tell them Fearne." They all turned to me.
"Oh so now I'm allowed to speak to you?" I questioned stubbornly.
"No, I'm telling you to speak to them. Not me." I narrowed my eyes at him and he raised his eyebrows in a challenging way.
He reached over and scooped up some mashed potato on his finger, Olivia slapped his hand away lightly.
"Fearne could you go tell Cameron dinner is ready." She asked me, I knew it was probably so that they could scold Jamie more without me listening.
I took the stairs two steps at a time and knocked on Cams door. When he didn't answer I opened it up and popped my head inside.
"Fuck! Do you knock!" He shouted deeply, face like a startled mouse. He was standing in front of the mirror, wearing a floor length red silk dress.
He immediately pulled the sheet off his bed and wrapped it around himself, casting his eyes downwards.
"I'm sorry... I did." I answered quietly. "You look..." his face started reddening before my eyes but he was buzzed with undeniable inner euphoria. I had never seen him shining this brightly. "You look... beautiful." He looked up to meet my eye contact quiescently.
"I don't know why I put it on." He admitted. "But you can't tell anyone." He dropped the sheet and put on a blue robe, tying it tightly across his front.
I gnawed on my lip, feeling the phantom pain throbbing through my body from the slashes on my wrists. My fathers voice instantly filling my head with the cruel words that I had been taught to believe.
'LGBTQ community, what the fuck is that? This pride shit all over my newspaper is sickening! I'll tell you what it is, a group of delinquents who need Jesus. They should be sent away to get fixed, if they're still broke after that then they need to be euthanised.'
"I mean it Fearne, people already think I'm a freak. Jamie, Arlo, Lexi they can never know about this. Not Liam or Liv either, this is the best home I've ever lived in and I don't want to be kicked out."
I didn't agree with whatever this was but I knew the importance of a good home. So I committed to keeping Cameron's sin a secret.
"I'm not going to tell anyone." I promised.
"It was a mistake. Just a stupid moment of wanting to try the dress on. Don't speak of this again."
