Blossom 🌸

TWENTY SIX 🌸

"Jamie, go take this serving bowl back next door." Olivia held out a fancy crystal dish and Jamie continued clicking buttons on his Xbox controller.

"After this game." He replied, without tearing his eyes away from the television screen.

"I'll take it." I offered, feeling brave but also thankful for the excuse to see Arlo. Olivia smiled at me gratefully and handed me the dish, it was heavy.

I went the back way, through his glass door I could see him sipping from a glass of water at the breakfast bar. Timidly, I knocked and his eyes looked my way before his hand beckoned me inside.

"Hey."

"Why are you knocking?" He blinked really slowly at me, like his eye lids were too heavy to keep open.

"People generally knock on doors so someone answers them." He didn't crack a smile, awkward. "I brought back your dish." Again, no smile. No response. He just stared at me as if waiting for me to explain further. "Okay bye."

"You're not staying?"

My lips definitely made shapes, but no words formed a response. He wanted me to stay?

"You wanna come upstairs? My mom and dad aren't home."

I think my face accurately displayed the horror I felt inside.

"Not like that." He corrected quickly, his words were slurred and heavy though, on some words I could barely understand him. "Just saying, they're not home incase you don't feel comfortable being alone with me."

"Why wouldn't I?" Sloppily he shrugged one shoulder and blinked his hooded eyes.

"Dunno." He answered, but he did know.

He was worried incase I was frightened of him. He had bipolar disorder and truthfully, I didn't really know what that was but Arlo actually made me feel the opposite of frightened. With him, I felt safe.

"Okay, let's go upstairs." I boldly agreed.

He nodded and led the way but he was different. His movements were clumsy. He swayed and held onto the walls at certain points and he climbed those stairs very slowly. When we reached his bedroom he flopped onto the bed, relaxing into his mattress like he had accomplished an epic goal.

"Arlo, are you okay?" I asked, assessing him from the doorway. He lifted his head only and looked at me.

"Mhm." He mumbled. "Are you getting in my bed?"

Truthfully, I didn't know know what to expect when Arlo invited me upstairs. He had a sofa and a television in his bedroom. I certainly didn't expect to get in his bed.

"Right, we don't do that." He spoke in realisation. "Sorry, I just got used to Lexi coming over and getting in my bed. It's cool, you don't have too."

"No, we can watch movies in your bed." Clearly the jealousy took over my free will.

He pulled back his duvet and patted the mattress. Gingerly, I sat myself down and smiled up at him awkwardly. My eyes fleeted over to the basket of condoms on his bedside table and I wondered how many of them he used in this bed.

He pushed a button on a small a remote and another television started raising out of his bed.

"Two tvs?"

"That one is for gaming and stuff." He tilted his head towards the sofa one. "I was going to watch The Incredibles."

"Like the kids movie?"

"Yeah, it's easy."

"Okay."

He started it up and throughout the movie I kept reminding myself that I was next to him, next to a boy in bed. It felt so beautifully normal. This innocent act of enjoying something simple together would've been punished by my father, my church, my whole town. Yet it didn't even feel like a sin.

It was a sin to want him to cuddle me, but he didn't.
It was a sin to want to hold his hand, but I didn't.
It was a sin to want to kiss him but -

"Arlo?"

He turned to face me slowly and I leaned closer to him, lowering my lips onto his. Immediately, he pulled away, leaving me rejected.

"Oh my god. I gasped.

I could feel severe humiliation settle in all around me. "I'm sorry." I admitted and pushed the duvet off of me.

"Wait-" he spoke.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know why I did that. I should go." I went to stand up but he grabbed my arm.

"Wait, don't leave."  He pulled the duvet over our heads, closing us into the darkness of his bedsheets.

"Blossom, I took a lot of meds and they mess with me. I've never -" he paused, feeling incredibly shy right now. "I've never kissed anyone like this, I don't think I'd be able to keep up."

"Really?" I asked, he was such a skilled kisser. I couldn't imagine him not feeling confident enough in his game. "Arlo, you could just kiss slower."  I half-joked.

A dopey smile grew on his lips and he leaned in, kissing me so tenderly. This kiss was definitely different to our others. The pace let me soak in the feeling of his soft lips and how he smiled against our kiss only slightly. It had less tongue but more romance, then he pulled back.

"That was so embarrassing. I can't kiss like this."

I touched my warm lips gently. "No, it was perfect."

The shy side of Arlo was definitely something new for me, I didn't even think he got shy. He was just this guy constantly brimming with confidence but there's a few moments when he blushes or struggles openly to communicate and expresses his feelings. I found it cute.

"Arlo, you home?" His door flung open and I jumped out of his bed, feeling the world of guilt.

"Nothing happened! We didn't do anything!" I defended my morals.

"Okay." His mom raised her hands submissively.

"Sorry, for yelling." Now it was my turn to feel shy.

"Would you like to stay for dinner Fearne?" I looked at Arlo, he was back to wearing his I-don't-give-a-fuck face.

"No thank you, I really have to go. Bye Arlo, Mrs Peers."

"Later Blossom."

"Bye Fearne."

I got into our driveway and breathed in the fresh air. The way I just reacted in front of his mom made it seem like I was giving him a hand job under the covers or something. I could already feel the gates of hell burning me and I could hear my father screaming at me from inside my own head.

I needed to stop sinning with Arlo.
This was definitely the last time I was going to let him tarnish my innocence.