Happy In Disguise

2 Who Cares About Your Wishes Anyway?

Chapter 2 (Who Cares About Your Wishes Anyway?)

I turned 17 last week and it wasn't really great. It was awful.

I just heard Ryan scream at my mom, for the entire day. That 'medicine' my mom started taking, turned out to be a drug.

She got absolutely addicted to it, and forget who the heck I was. Well, she still knows who I am, but sometimes I would come home, she would be really screwed up (which means either intoxicated, high, or on a drug which calls itself cocaine) and she would yell at me, pretend she didn't know me and crap like that. There was a cut on her wrist on the night she collapsed when I was 10 years old. I found out her boyfriend Ryan beat her up a lot. He also stabbed her in the arm once and apparently he had some anger issues. I don't know why my mom is still together with him, but she always told me, he was a real gentleman and he absolutely loved her. You know what I thought about that? Bullshit. A guy who loves a woman, doesn't just beat the crap out of her. It just isn't normal.

I am so disappointed with my mom. She had an amazing job, was an amazing person but she ended up like this now. She lost her job, because she ditched work a lot after she started to take, or shall I say inhale, that 'medicine'. Yes, correct. Cocaine is inhaled through the nose.

Anyways, I still lived with her and her boyfriend, and I couldn't change that. Right now I heard the glasses being shattered, the screams that were made and it broke my heart. I can't believe they ended up like this. I thought I was dreaming, but I wasn't. It felt like a delirious nightmare that kept repeating itself. Each day...

I stared at myself in the mirror not happy with my body. Oh, whatever, it's just my hips. I had long, dirty blonde hair and light green eyes. At least my mom gave me her gorgeousness.

Luckily I had good acting skills, so I could hide away the sorrow I felt inside. I had a healthy amount of friends, and average grades. Just because my mom is messing up her life, doesn't mean I have to mess up mine.

It still didn't change the fact that I cried every time before going to bed though. My mom and I were really close and now she seems... Different... I miss her advice and her happy personality. That fucking bastard Ryan changed her life. He also changed mine. He tried to touch me, and by touch me, I mean in a sexually explicit way. I took self defense classes, so I knew how to handle that dickhead. He tried to touch my boobs, when I quickly was able to bring him to the ground. I told him, he should stay away from me, and he never touched me again.

I tried to tell my mom about what he tried to do, but she didn't want to believe it. Of course.

***

''Did you bring lunch for me today?'' my bestfriend Alessia Davis asked me while she skipped from her left foot to her right one. We were standing in front of my locker, in the middle of the school hallway. ''No! Didn't I tell you to make a sandwich this morning?'' I said in sarcastic tone. ''Umm... No... Psh... You didn't!'' she responded while she stared at the ceiling. I shoved all my books into my locker, shut it and quickly got up. ''What's next?'' I exclaimed.

''Break time! Which means: time for the new boy!''

''Shut up, you find every single boy you see attractive, okay?''

''Please, you need a confidence boost. As long as your with me, everything's fine! Remember that, 'kay?''

My bestfriend turns out to be the hottest girl in school. Every girl wanted to be her. Every body wanted to get into her pants. Luckily I didn't care about the looks, so we became best friends. She had gorgeous long, blonde hair, and brown eyes. Not to forget her smoking hot figure, that everyone drooled over. The best thing about her was that she wasn't conceited at all.

She was talking about the attractive new boy , that played football and had a really good body. I didn't really like him, because he was always really shy and quiet. I didn't know his name, but I knew Alessia was going to find out soon anyway, so I didn't bother asking him for his name.

''Wait a sec.'' I quickly stopped while we were walking outside for breaktime. ''Don't you have a boyfriend?'' I whispered flirtatiously. ''Well... I don't know... Austin and me kissed once, but I don't know if he wants me or not...,'' she whispered back in a disappointing tone. Austin Mahone was prom king every single year, and probably had every single girl in bed. He was handsome. Who am I kidding, he was REALLY attractive, but I would never mess with him, because he didn't care about love, just about sex.

He had brown hair and light green eyes.

''You're too good for him Aly. He just wants to get you to... You know...,'' I mumbled trying to avoid the word sex. She looked back at me in a do-you-think-I-care-he-is-really-hot-okaaaaay? I grinned at my thought.

***

I was in front of my door about to step into my horrible nightmare again. I wished I could have school for the entire night as well. Rather that than this. I opened the door, the smell of the cigarettes was like a slap in the face and it surrounded me in a matter of seconds. As I shut the door I yelled: ''mom I'm home!''

My mom came from the living room, staggering. ''Hi honey you're home?'' she exclaimed quickly. Way too quick. ''Yeah, school was...,'' I mumbled but she interrupted me: ''Hi, you're home?''

I looked at her in a disgusted way. God, I hated it when she was like this.

She repeats words all the times, when she is on cocaine. Oh and to add, she is nervous like she is waiting for the performance of her life.

''Yeah. I'll go do my homework,'' I practically whispered, because she was going to forget what I said anyway.

She swallowed heavily, nodded and walked towards the living room. Surprisingly she got what I said. Bravo mother!

This was just embarrassing. She was still in her bathrobe, and she looked really old, because of the drugs.

I slammed my bag against my door and locked it. As soon as my door was locked, I crushed against my closet and broke into tears.

My heart started aching and I started sobbing terribly fast. Make it stop. I miss you mom. I need the old you. Wherever you are, come out.

I grabbed my scissors, and put them against my skin. I hesitated before I pressed it in. I finally scraped the sharpness against my skin until the blood came out. I shut my eyes and dropped the scissors. The blood was now all over the floor. My tears raced over my face.

Suddenly my phone buzzed. I took my bag, grassed my phone and stared at the display.

Alessia texted: ''Oh my freakn' god. Justin Bieber moved in next to you. HE LIVES NEXT TO UR HOUSE. Yes. THE FAMOUS JUSTIN BIEBER LIVES NEXT TO YOU. xoxx Aly''

I forced a grin, but couldn't help but break down again.

I grabbed my guitar and started playing the melody from last night. I sung along to the melody with lyrics that described how I felt. Music and Alessia were everything I had. Everything else is gone. Everyone else is gone. No one cares about my wishes anyway...

Author's note: Yay! Another chapter done! This is REALLY hard work!