Happy In Disguise

3 It's Personal

Chapter 3 (It's Personal)

I got up the next morning, with the door still locked. It was saturday morning and I planned on going to the movie theater with Alessia. I looked at my bed. Shit. It was all full of blood. Apparently I fell asleep and just left it like that. I hurried to the bathroom and wrapped a white band around the cuts.

While I wrapped the band around my arm, I could feel a teardrop escape from my eye. It hurt so much to know my mom wasn't who she used to be.

I unlocked my door and went downstairs.

My mom sat in the kitchen smoking a cigarette in her bathrobe. She had black, greasy curls dangling down her shoulder, and her eyes looked like she didn't sleep at all last night.

I went up to her and mumbled a "hey".

I grabbed the cereal that was on the counter and poured some milk.

"How are you doing?" I heard my mom say. Is she sober? Please tell me she is sober.

I looked at her in an unexpected way, and she smiled back at me.

"Are you sober?" I asked her excitedly. The only time I could talk to her, was when she wasn't drunk or high. Because then she was she. She was the person she was meant to be.

"Yes. Why would you say that?" she spat angrily.

"Really? Mom? Have you ever asked YOURSELF why I would say that?"

"The problem is, you think I am a different person when I take my medicine so..."

"MOM IT'S A DRUG NOT A MEDICINE!"

"Yes... I know... But you always think I am a different person, but I'm still me. That's the problem..."

"The problem is, you are a drug-addict, an alcoholic and your boyfriend is a psychotic asshole."

My mom looked to the ground, sympathetically, hesitated to whatever she was going to say and then murmured: "Fuck you."

My breath was caught for a minute. I grabbed the glass that was on the kitchen counter and slammed it against the floor, before I stumbled into my room.

I slid down to the ground, while I was leaning against my door. Why would she say that? We never swear at each other. I love her. Wow. The only time when she is sober, we fight...

I sobbed into my hands that were buried into my knees.

My heart was literally aching. Literally. It hurt so much to think about her not needing and loving me.

I heard a knock on the door.

I quickly wiped away my tears and stood up. I turned the key around and opened the door.

My mom stood there with a sympathetic expression in her face.

"I'm really sorry about that. I didn't mean it. It just slipped out," she apologized. I sighed.

"Mom. The only reason you are sober right now, is because there is no alcohol and there are no drugs in the house. That's simply why."

"Honey. I... I... I know what I'm doing, don't worry." Oh my god. That's what she would say all the time. "But... Can we not just enjoy this for once?" she breathed. I smiled and hugged her.

I picked up my pillow from the floor and smashed it into her face. She grinned, grabbed my pillow and threw it to the ground. She pulled me into the kitchen and started to tickle me.

I giggled and laughed.

"Mom!" I laughed loudly. "Mom! Mom! Stop!" She stopped and looked into my eyes. I hugged her and she kissed me on my forehead.

"I love you, sweetie. Please always know that," she whispered in tears.

I hugged her back and whispered: "I missed you, mom. I missed you..."

Suddenly the door opened and Ryan came in. He looked really pissed. My mom released me from the hug, and smiled at Ryan while he walked towards her.

He was right in front of her and slapped her in the face. Her whole body fell to the ground.

She started cowering and protected her face with her hands.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" I screamed so loud that my voice went hoarse. He didn't stop, he just kicked her in the face and stomach.

I broke into tears.

I grabbed the whisky bottle that has been on the table for ages and slammed it against his head. He turned back at me in anger and punched me.

Now I was spitting blood.

"WHERE'S MY FUCKING ALCOHOL BITCH?!" he yelled at my mom. My mom squeeked as he threw a plate at her.

I ran towards the entrance door and escaped to my porch. I locked the door as I shut it and broke down on the stairs on my porch.

I wrapped my arms around my knees. My whimper grew into a huge wail.

My head was buried into my knees, and my hands were sweating and shaking.

I grabbed my knife out of my pocket and just started cutting my bare arms with no hesitation. The blood ran out like it wanted to escape. It streamed all over the stairs on the porch.

I don't give a shit right now. I don't care who is going to see me.

I kept cutting until I heard a voice call: "Stop! You're going to kill yourself!" I quickly hesitated but then continued.

I started to see blackness, and then I felt the sharpness loosen up. I got unconscious.

***

"She's awake! Hello? Hello?" I heard a voice call. Everything was blurry.

I started to see everything properly and noticed a set of beautiful hazelbrown eyes on me.

I felt someone's hand shake me. "Hello?" I heard the same voice say again.

I stared at my arm and realized it was wrapped up in bandage. Both of my arms.

"Where am I?", I said while I got up. There was a boy squatting in front of me. His hand was on mine.

"I'm Justin, hi," he muttered.

"What... I-I...," I babbled in confusion.

A young woman came up to me and schook my hand. She looked at me sympathetically. "Hi, honey. I am Pattie. What's your name?"

I looked at her. "I'm Katy. Where am I?"

The young lady Pattie looked at the boy who was about 18. I glanced at the boy.

No. It's not him. THIS IS NOT FREAKING JUSTIN BIEBER.

"Pinch me," I said a bit too loud.

Justin pinched me.

I squeeked. "Ow!"

"Well you said I should pinch you," he grinned. Damn he was handsome. His smile made me melt.

I got up and walked towards the entrance door.

"Okay then! Gotta go! Bye," I mumbled as I opened the door, but I felt a hand grab my arm.

"Wait! Why were you... You know... Cutting... Your-yourself...," Justin stuttered aware of me being embarrassed to answer that question.

I totally forgot about that.

I remembered everything again now.

"It's personal... Oh and... Could you please not tell anyone?" I asked.

"Sure...," he said in disappointment.

I really wanted to tell someone, but the famous Justin Bieber didn't care about me anyway. He would probably forget it and forget me as well.

Just like my messed up family.

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Author's note: Hey everybody! If you guys are reading my story, I love you. I would really appreciate comments.

Please tell me what you think! Your opinion counts!

XOXXX Jenna Brooke