one person can change everything

chapter 24 Alex

"Girls" I tried to greet them normally

"Alex sit..." I slid next to clare.

"So getting ready for the big day?"

"Nearly.... but wondered if you would do something with me?"

"What?" She smiled brightly at me

"Umm... got my last dress fitting... come with me?"I tried to contain being excited or was I acting excited

"Yeah.. when is it?"

"This afternoon?"

Claire's smiled turned to tears as I stood in front of her. my heart sank at the thought she hated it...

"Do...don't you like it?" I stuttered

"Its amazing!"

She hugged me tightly. she wiped her eyes and I asked her

"why are you crying?"

"Beautiful... "

I pulled up to her house and she said to me

"Coming in for a cuppa?"

"Jay working?" I hesitated

"Yeah..come in"

Holding the mug tightly I said to her ....

"Hows Lonan? Heard from him?"

"Lonan.... surely you know more than me hun"

"Not really.. Why would I?"

"He's alright from what I here....hes ummm don't be annoyed but are you sure you should be marrying Richard?"

"Huh.... what?"

"Whats the first thought you have when I say Richard?"

"What??"

"Answer me... Tell me.... please do this for me...Richard?"

"Loved"

"Lonan"

"Amazing"

"Hun you can't marry Richard"

"I am.. I love him" my chest got tight and my face went bright red at what she was saying

"You said loved him a min ago....."

"Lonan..... look... he has so much stuff and you know Richard loves me"

"But you love Lonan... think about it hun... Lonan is the one and no one not even you would have thought it would happen but he runs away when he gets scared... you scare him.. Fact"

"He makes it hard to love him" I said defensive

"Admit it..."

"What?"

"You love Lonan?"

"I can't love anyone without them loving me back"

"He does love you... admit it you love him"

"I dont.... i cant.. "

"Really... you don't love him... you don't miss him or think of him?"

"Why all the questions?"

"Alex wait"

"No Clare I don't need you to try make me admit the feeling for Lonan"

"Admit it you miss him"

"I can't miss what I don't have"

"Hun... this is me your talking too... we both know you were hiding at his.. yet you haven't said why"

"He.... Lonan lent me hiss spare room"

"Why his? Why not mine?"

"I dunno it just happened"

"Don't tell me then" she stormed out the Lounge muttering under her breath

"Clare... it's complicate Lonan let me get my thoughts together at his that's all"

"Why his though?.. Why didn't you come to me?"

"Don't get offended.. I dunno why his I just happened over space of a few days really quickly... Lots happened in them few days"

"Like what?"

"Lots.. more than anyone would understand... Lonan was amazing. he.... he looked after me.. he made me feel safe... he left me to my own thoughts... Lonan was great" things came flashing to me, the way he held me tight in the armchair they way he carried me to bed that night, the way he protected me and how he held me tight at night. The tough of his finger tips on my arm when he saw the bruises

"Alex have you heard yourself?"

"Huh?"

"Admit it you miss him"

"I can't miss someone who don't belong To me hun... ermmmm right best get back or Richard will wonder where I am " I stood up careful

"You okay?"

"Yeah yeah must have sat awkwardly"