I'm Going Nowhere Fast (Peterick)

11. Jet Pack Blues

(Patrick's P.O.V)

They had dubbed Pete and me Peterick. The groups fascination shifted between us and Jack and Alex. It was odd being placed in a spotlight because I wasn't used to people paying attention to me and it made me feel awkward. I preferred sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone else in the spotlight. It also made it harder for me to hold Pete's hand and to subtly touch him when I thought no one was paying attention.

With everyone being so focused on figuring out if we were an item or not started to put a strain on our relationship. Pete rarely sat near me at lunch and he barely talked to me and when he did talk it was only to push me into gigs I wasn't ready for. I missed his company and I missed his smile, his laugh. The only time we hung out was at band practice and even then things sucked. Joe and Andy even started to notice that things weren't okay between us. Andy and Joe had tried to talk to me about what was happening but I brushed them off every time they tried, I just couldn't bring myself to tell them they were partly to blame. I didn't want to make them feel bad because not that long ago they were the only friends I had.

The bell had rung signalling that the school day was over. I made my way out of the school grounds in the hopes of finding Pete and demanding to know what his problem was. My eyes scanned the school grounds to see that his car was missing from his usual parking space. My heart dropped in my chest and my shoulder's hunched in disappointment. A hand landed on my shoulder and I quickly spun around to see Zack standing behind me with his lips pulled in a thin line.

"Pete left before Gym started," Zack said.

My eyes widened. Pete skipped a class.

"Where did he go?" I asked.

Zack shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Is everything okay with you guys? Because we've noticed that you've distanced yourselves."

"Everything's peachy," I replied sarcastically.

Zack furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest. "Patrick, you two have barely acknowledged each other."

"Everything's fine," I snapped. "Look I hate to be rude but I've got to go."

I spun on my heel and stalked towards my car.

"You know I'm always here if you need someone to talk to!" Zack called after me.

I choose to ignore him because I was afriad that my voice would quiver with the tears that were fighting to break free. I hadn't felt so hurt in my entire life! I felt like such an idiot for allowing myself to get close to Pete. I usually kept to myself, only talking to Andy or Joe. I slipped into my car and ripped the fedora Pete had bought me from my head then tossed it onto the passenger seat. I buried my head in my hands and pulled my fingers through my hair. I had to find him. I had to find out what the hell was happening.

I started the car up then drove to Pete's house but he wasn't there. I checked the laser tag place he took me to that one time but he wasn't there either. I drove around searching all the places he liked but he wasn't anywhere. I eventually gave up and went home. When I got home I noticed Pete's car parked in my driveway and I was shocked to see him there. The only time he came to my place now was for band practice and we didn't have that until tomorrow. My hands began to shake as I slipped out of my car. I made sure to put the fedora back onto my head as I made my way towards Pete's car.

His hair was dishevelled and he looked as if he hadn't slept in a long time. My heart thumped loudly in my chest when I saw that he was wearing eyeliner. Pete glanced up at me and I could see that he was tired. The bags under his eyes were easily identifiable but I knew that he was more than just pyhcically tired. I tried to supress any hopes I had because I could see that Pete wasn't happy. I would have seen his infectious smile by now if he was.

"Hey," I said in a quite tone.

Pete smiled but it didn't have its usual flair. "Hey Trick."

Trick? He was using my nickname again but I wasn't sure if it meant that everything was okay.

"Zack said you skipped Gym," I said.

"Yeah I just had to think about things," Pete said.

My heart sank in my chest and I couldn't help but think of the worst. I waited for Pete to say the words that everyone in a relationship dreaded. We need to talk.

"What things?" I asked.

"Things about us," Pete replied.

I knew it! I thought to myself. Tears welled in my eyes and I struggled to keep them in.

Pete looked up at me for the first time. "I'm over the group watching our every move and it has put a strain on our relationship."

"I think they're starting to notice that," I replied.

Pete nodded to himself and ran a hand through his hair. My heart stopped beating in my chest when I saw the scars that marked his wrists. I forced myself to walk over to his car. I slammed the door open to his car and pulled him outside. I was slightly amazed at my strength but Pete didn't put up much of a resistance. I grabbed his arms in my hands in looked down at the scars.

"Pete," I whispered.

"Yeah I know," he snapped. "I don't need to hear a lecture from you because I know I'll get one from my parents later."

"I wasn't going to lecture you," I told him. I looked up into his brown eyes to see that they were pained. "I just want to know why you did it."

"It's because of the whole shipping thing in the group," Pete replied. "I know it's doing the same to Jack and Alex."

I furrowed my brow then leaned down so I could kiss the scars on his wrists. Pete sighed and pulled his arms free so that he could wrap them around him. The first contact in ages. I relieshed the hug and I clung to Pete as if someone was going to come and break us apart at any moment.

"You know you can always talk to me," I whispered in Pete's ear. "I've been going insane not having you close to me. Every time I look at my fedora I think of what you told me about wanting me to remember everything and when you shut me out . . . I thought that things were over between us."

Pete's grip on me tightened. "Never. You wanna know why?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I love you," Pete whispered into my ear.

I froze. Pete just told me he loved me and all I could do was gasp. It was the first time anyone besides my parents said that to me and somehow it sounded pleasant coming from Pete. I buried my head in his shoulder and breathed in his scent.

"I love you too," I replied.

Pete laughed as he ran a hand through my hair. "I know you do."

It was hard to believe that this was going to happen earlier in the day. I was so certain that Pete was going to break up with me but here we were locked in each others embrace confessing our love for one another.

"I was so convinced you were going to break up with me," I whispered. " I was so scared that you had just stopped caring about me."

Pete pulled away so that he could look into my eyes. "Never ever think that I don't care. I will never stop caring about you! No matter what happens between us! I'll always care about you."

"Ugh why the hell are you perfect?" I demanded.

"Trick, I'm not perefct," Pete replied in a serious tone. "Just look at my wrists."

"I meant that you're perfect when it comes to saying things that make me smie," I explained.

"I think I'm only perfect at that because your smile is the only thing that can make me smile," Pete replied.

Melting. That's all I felt. After weeks of being ignored and pushed to the side I could finally feel loved again.

"See! Things like that," I said.

Pete laughed and kissed my forehead. "I love you Trick."