I'm Going Nowhere Fast (Peterick)

5. Calm Before The Storm

(Pete's P.O.V)

After Jake and his gaggle of bitches targeted Cassadee I felt the need to protect Patrick with even more veracity. I knew that he wasn't afraid to stand up for others and that he wasn't afraid to get hurt but I knew what Jake was capable of. I think I would turn into a total monster if he hurt Patrick because he was genuinely a nice guy and he's heart was in the right place. Patrick wasn't like others in this school. He preferred not to conform to the person that Jake wanted you to be. I guess that's why I was drawn to him in the first place. It was that bit of innocence topped with the desire to not blend in that made him stand out to me. After I had noticed him I couldn't help but watch what he did from playing the guitar to scurrying out of the exits in hopes of escaping Jake and well . . . me. He used to be afraid of me but he has slowly learnt to trust him and I am so thankful that he had decided to trust me.

Unlike Jake, I felt no need to insult the people like Patrick or Jenna or Alex. I found no amusement in bullying the broken because I knew how they felt. I had bipolar and I was always waiting for my mood to swing from the happiness I felt when I was around Patrick to the depression that seemed to eat at every inch of my body, trying to get me to give in to the dark desires that I tried so hard to resist. It had been a long time since I last cut myself and I think it was due to the fact that I couldn't wear a jumper in the middle of spring or summer but winter was coming closer and I feared that I would pick up those razor blades again and cut until all my worries were gone. I was starting to feel anxious about the song I was working on with Patrick because I don't think I could tell him who it was for. What if he was disgusted? What if he wanted nothing to do with me? Great. Now the 'what if's' were beginning. I knew one thing was for sure and that was that I was falling in love with Patrick Stump.

It was the weekend and my very first band practice with Patrick, Joe and Andy. I pulled up in front of Patrick's house with a wary expression on my face. I didn't know what mood I was going to be in but I had to risk it, the band needed me now. I climbed out of my car and grabbed my bass out from the backseat. I stood at the front door and pressed the doorbell button. I tapped my foot against the ground until the door opened to reveal a happy Patrick. He grinned up at me and I could feel myself slipping even more into that strange feeling called love.

"Sorry I'm late," I said with a small smile.

"It's okay, Andy and Joe just got here," he replied.

He opened the door up wider and allowed me to step inside. I waited for him to close the door because I had no idea where the practice room was. Patrick and I remained silent as we walked through his house and down to the basement. The sound of a drum kit being attacked - in a good way - caused me to move faster so that I could see what was happening. Andy sat behind the kit and he hit all the right notes as he played. Joe sat on one of the old couches that have been placed down here, he had his guitar in his hands and he was tuning it.

Patrick moved past me and collected several sheets of paper, he then handed them to me. On one sheet there was printed copy of the lyrics to a song called Saturday. I read the lyrics and nodded to myself. They were really good and I could tell that Patrick had wrote them because this was the type of thing he would have written.

"These are great lyrics," I said. "And you even included my name."

Patrick looked at me with an embarrassed expression. "Ah, thanks they're kinda new and I don't really know why I chose your name . . . so the plan for this practice is for you to get used to the rhythm of the song and to get used to the lyrics."

I noticed that Patrick was quick to change the topic and I noticed that a small blush had decided to light up his cheeks. Patrick exchanged a look with Andy and Joe and they began to play.

"I'm good to go
And I'm going nowhere fast
It could be worse
It could be taking you there with me
I'm good to go
But it looks like I'm still on my own.

"I'm good to go
For something golden
Though the motions I've been going through have failed
And I'm coasting on potential towards a wall
At a 100 miles an hour.

"When I say
Two more weeks
My foot is in the door
I can't sleep
In the wake of Saturday
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended.

"Pete and I attacked the laws of Astoria
With promise and precision and mess of youthful innocence
And I read about the afterlife
But I never really lived more than an hour.

"When I say
Two more weeks
My foot is in the door
I can't sleep
In the wake of Saturday
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended," Patrick sang.

An instrumental solo came along and I decided that I would sing with Patrick. I wanted to show the band what I could do.

"And I read about the afterlife
But I never really lived
And I read about the afterlife
But I never really lived," Patrick sung while I yelled the lyrics.

The band grinned at me and I could see that I had amused them.

"Two more weeks
My foot is in the door
Me and Pete
In the wake of Saturday
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended
Saturday
Saturday."

Patrick finished singing the song and I clapped in encouragement. The song was really good but I really wanted to know why Patrick had included my name instead of Andy's or Joe's name - I really hope I find out.

"What do you think?" Andy asked.

"You guys are really good! I can't wait to learn the song for myself," I replied.

"I didn't know you screamed," Patrick said.

"Yeah, I used to keep it hidden because I was afraid that Jake would bully me for it," I explained.

"Please don't keep it a secret anymore," Patrick begged. "This is exactly what we need."

"So, have you guys got a name for your band?" I asked.

"Fall Out Boy," Joe replied.

I pursed my lips as I thought about the name and then I smiled. I really liked it. The guys looked relieved when they saw my smile and I was glad to know that I was accepted here.

Andy began to play another beat on the drum kits and I recognized it as Beat It by Michael Jackson. Joe began playing guitar and Patrick began to sing. I took a seat on the couch and listened to them as they played. They were really good and I couldn't see myself benefiting the band at all. I was hopeless. I hadn't realized how much of a crap mood I was truly in until I watched them play. I bit my bottom lip and tried to contain myself but I felt as if I was spiralling.

"Pete," Patrick whispered.

I looked up to see that the band had stopped playing. Joe and Andy exchanged several looks of concern while Patrick settled himself down on the seat beside me.

"Is everything okay?" Patrick asked.