Morana Barnes: Murderous Love

1. Prologue

A/N: All Rights Reserved © 2022

Under no circumstances is this story or its contents to be replicated, translated, duplicated, and or distributed in any way or form without the permission of the author (Me).

Any similarities between fictional and or real persons, places, or things are purely coincidental.

I also want to apologize for any grammar and or spelling errors that may occur during this story. I do reread and sometimes catch the mistakes and fix them but unfortunately, I cannot catch them all. Sorry in advance.

But with all that being said I hope you enjoy the story and without further ado here's Morana Barnes: A Murderous Love.

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January 22nd, 2023

Future:

Staring up at the white ceiling my entire body was numb. My arms hung limply on the sides of me, my right arm hanging off the bed with a liquor bottle in it. It was half gone, I'd already drunk most of it and drank two bottles before it. I'd drunk myself into a stupor. My heart pounded in my chest painfully and every breath of air I took only made it worse. My hair was a mess and small strands stuck to my face as sweat lightly adorned my body. I don't know how long I'd been laying here but it felt like I'd been laying here for hours.

I couldn't remember the last time I left this bed-left this room- since everything happened. Since the trial, since the sentencing, since her. I'd been stuck in my house for days drinking my sorrows away. I stopped answering my phone, stopped answering the door, and just drank my life away. There was nothing else I could do to get rid of the pain but drink until I couldn't drink or feel anymore.

I heard a knock at my front door and ignored it. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. My whole body would scream in protest. Every muscle was sore from when I'd have my episodes of pure rage and grief when I was sober or when I drank. The knock sounded again and I continued to ignore it. I heard a voice but couldn't make it out. I didn't care who it was. I closed my eyes as I sucked in a deep breath as my eyes watered. I felt so miserable, so lost. The sound of my door slamming open made me jump to my feet frighted and immediately I got dizzy.

Black started to cloud my vision as my body swayed before a heavy sickness built up in me and I immediately felt like throwing up. I gagged and quickly ran to the bathroom throwing up just as I reached the toilet. My whole body trembled as I continued to spill my guts. It was nothing but alcohol anyway. I don't think I've eaten in the last three days. It was nothing but liquid.

"Jesus," I heard that same voice say as it entered my room. I recognized it now that it was closer. It was my partner, Chaset. I know she's probably taken in the state of my home. My kitchen is dirty and littered with alcohol bottles and broken glass, my living room has broken tipped over furniture and pieces of wood from my coffee table being broken in my fit of rage and my room only got worse.

The covers were thrown everywhere, my dressers were knocked over, my walls and room door have holes the size of my fist in them and there are clothes and trash everywhere. I was not doing well at all.

At this point, I was just dry heaving. I wasn't even throwing up anymore. I heard footsteps get closer to me and knew Chaset was standing in the doorway staring at me. "God dammit Barnes," she said taking in my state.

She walked over to me and helped me up as she flushed the toilet and put the toilet seat down for me to sit on. I sat there still feeling woozy and she walked out of the room. She returned with a glass of water and I took it from her and drank it. It tasted disgusting but I needed it. "Brush your teeth and then come out so we can talk," she said.

"I don't wanna talk," I said my words slurring. She didn't say anything as she left the room again. I did what she said anyway and then walked out of the bathroom and into my room. I flopped on the bed and closed my eyes.

"You haven't been answering your phone," Chaset starts.

"Haven't been in the mood to talk,"

"Or answering the door,"

"Didn't wanna get out of bed,"

"Your parents are worried about you Barnes,"

"There's no need to be,"

It was silent and I can tell she was getting tired of my short answers. "This is serious. We know you're taking off time off to grieve and I know you don't wanna be bothered but this isn't healthy. I mean look at this place,"

"It's fine. I just need time," I didn't want to talk about it.

"Time won't fix this," she sighed. I glanced up at her to see her staring at the ground before her eyes met mine. "You need help. Therapy. A friend to talk to. You need to do something besides stay in this room and drink your life away,"

I didn't say anything. I looked away from her numbly and went back to staring at the ceiling as I was previously before she came in. "I'm worried about you Morana. This seems like it's headed in a dangerous direction and I don't want it to. I want you to be safe, to be okay. I don't want this for you, I mean look at you. Your house is completely trashed, you have alcohol bottles laying everywhere, you're extremely drunk and when's the last time you've taken a shower or done your hair?"

That's the first time in a while she'd said my first name. She only says it when she's being extremely serious or emotional with me. At that thought, I looked back at her and the look in her eyes broke my heart even more. Her eyes were flooding with tears but she held them back and her tears were for me.

I sucked in a shaky breath as tears flooded my eyes and for the first time in three days, I felt it. I felt the extreme pain and grief and the tears poured down my face violently as a sob ripped through me. My whole body shook. I sounded like a child as I cried, a scream-like sob escaping me as I turned on my side and curled into myself. "Oh, Morana," Chaset said as I felt the bed dip from her weight and her hand rubbed my back soothingly.

That only made me cry harder. I sniffed violently as sobs continued to wrack through me. My whole being hurt from the pain I was feeling. I don't like it. I don't want to feel it. Another scream-like sob left me and I felt Chaset's hand freeze on my back. "I just want it to stop," I cried.

"I'm sorry Morana but it's not gonna stop anytime soon. You just gotta take it one day at a time babe," she said and I can hear the hurt from my current state in her voice.

"What if it never does? What am I gonna do then? I can't do this Nicole, I'm not strong enough to handle this," I said as I sniffled.

"It will. The pain will lessen over time but you have to face it. You can't try and ignore it or the pain will destroy you when you finally let yourself feel it and you are strong enough. You will get through this just take a day at a time,"

I hiccuped as my crying stopped but the tears stayed. Maybe she was right maybe she was wrong the only way I'll know is if I listen to her instructions to take it a day at a time. But I don't know if I can handle this pain. If she hadn't shown up I would've continued drinking myself into a stupor until I drank my life away either dying due to alcohol poisoning or becoming a drunk recluse.

"You just have to try. Please try Morana, for me, for your parents, for her. Just try we need you," she whispered. When I looked at her a lone tear was falling down her face from her left eye and her head was down as her eyes closed. I turned around fully to face her and nodded.

"I'll try," I tell her. "I'll try."