Morana Barnes: Murderous Love

27. May Barnes

October 7th, 2022 4:26 pm

Invalid Feelings:

He was still trying to convince me to talk to Morana. While I can't lie that I missed my sister, I just don't think I can talk to her again after all that. I was still upset about it. Jace doesn't think I should be but I am and it's not going to change. "Jace please drop it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Plus, I'm trying to focus and you're distracting me,"

"May, I just think it might be good for you. You've been a little sad recently,"

"Jace, I appreciate your concern but I'm honestly okay,"

"I talked to Morana earlier today," he suddenly said. It was odd and the way he said it, it seemed like he rushed it out, like he needed me to hear it. I turned in the chair I sat in and looked at him. He swallowed thickly avoiding my gaze.

"What?" I asked. He had completely thrown me off guard.

"I talked to Morana earlier today," he said slower. "And we talked about...you. She blames me for you not talking to her and I'm kind of wondering what you told her when you went and talked to her,"

"I told her what you told me and how I didn't appreciate it,"

"Right, but did you accuse her of just speaking to me because she hinted that you accused her of only interrogating me when she had interrogated other people,"

"That's what you made it sound like so yeah, I did. And even if she did interrogate other people, she didn't Chaset to their front door to collect them like some criminal. Either way, she's still wrong on some part, so I'm not gonna feel bad for telling her that,"

"Yeah, I know but May she really misses you and wants to talk to you. Has she called you at all, I mean she sa-"

"Jace," I cut him off curtly. I wasn't sure why all of sudden he cared. He's the one who made it seem as though Morana was accusing him of murder which was not okay in the slightest. There are also things that I don't agree with personally that are making me distant from Morana.

"No, if I wanna talk to her, then I will but as of right now I don't. I have nothing to say to her. You may be over it but I'm not. Just based on the limited amount of things you've told me about the conversation you had with her she doesn't care too much about what she did. She only cares about the fact that you seemingly messed up our relationship not knowing that her actions are the reason I am not speaking to her,"

"May, she didn't-"

"She did when she sent Chaset to your doorstep to bring you down to the station when I know for a fact she called everyone else in. Set up meet times so she can talk to everyone without making it seem as though they were the killer. I know how things should go and I know how Morana does things and what she did to you is not how she would normally do things. Please stop pushing."

The conversation was over just like that. I went back to doing my work and Jace stayed quiet. I blocked out the mention of Morana and Jace completely and simply focused on the amount of studying I had to do. I'd been blocking out Morana for weeks now because I didn't want to talk to her or about her.

I needed time to myself. I could hear Jace moving around behind me before feeling his presence so near to me. He kissed the top of my head before walking out of the room. I felt bad because it was obvious that he cared but while he cares about the relationship between me and my sister, it doesn't seem like Morana cares about the relationship between me and Jace.

When I finished my notes and studying I put everything back into my backpack and walked into the living room with my backpack on my back. Jace looked up at me from the tv and smiled. "Can you take me home?" my question made him pause.

"You're not spending the night?"

"No," I said giving him a small smile. "I think I wanna be by myself for a little, give myself some time to think,"

"Oh...Ok," he seemed sad about my decision. I swallowed thickly as an awkward silence and tension filled the room. He got up and turned the tv off before putting his shoes on and heading to the door, me following him. He stepped to the side and let me out of the door first before closing it behind him and locking it.

We walked to his car and he opened the passenger door for me. I thanked him quietly and closed the door as he jogged to the driver's side.

The entire drive was awkward and quiet and it made my chest ache. I didn't want him to feel bad about my decision or feel that it had anything to do with him. When he pulled up to my house he parked and sat there looking straight ahead. "Jace, don't feel as though this has anything to do with you, I promise you it doesn't. I just need to think about things,"

He looked at me and I smiled at him. He smiled back his eyes lighting up. I cupped his chin and brought his face closer to mine, placing a small but loving kiss on his lips before pulling away and getting out of the car. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"See you tomorrow." he smiled. I closed the door and towards my front door. Unlocking it, I opened the door and stepped inside. I gave a little wave to Jace before closing the door and walking further into my house.

Jace's argument that I should speak to Morana and the way he tried defending her caused mixed emotions to bubble in me. Were my feelings invalid? Was I being overdramatic? I wasn't sure but for now, I'll give it some time and think on it. I set my backpack down and went to the bathroom to run some bathwater. This should help me, relaxing in a nice warm bath was great for thinking. I undressed and stepped into the tub, sinking into the water. I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes.

Tomorrow should be better. I should have my answer then.