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Chapter 22---- Lucid

Dedicated to @ fb: fans of F4 boys over flowers

Hagel's POV.

I tried to catch up with her as I sped up, the cold air slapping my skin. But I feel nothing. I don't even notice how hard the rain is pouring. How come she runs so fast?

I can see her figure in the dark alley as she run towards the light into the streets.
" Hazel stop!" I call to her but it seems like my sounds are being buried by the heavy rain.

" Hazel!" I called louder.

She can hear me, I Know she can. But she doesn't stop.
My heart is thudding fast, not from the run but in this moment, I feel like I'm losing.

I'm losing her...

The feeling is so strong that I halt suddenly.

She stops running as a car pulled up to her side.

Jayden.
No...God no.

Everything was happening so fast, so damn fast.
She glanced back at me and even through the rain, I could see how hurt she is.

" Hazel don't!" I say in a pleading and loud tone and run towards her.
She doesn't listen.
She doesn't.

And it hurts me so much I can't even believe it.
But it's lucid.
Everything is lucid as I watch her hop into the car as it speeds away.

She left. She left with Jayden.

***†***

Hazel's POV.

Why was he even running after me?
So he could humiliate me further?

I'm done with him.
I shouldn't have come.
I shouldn't.

I shiver as I'm soaked from hair to toe.
Even though I'm wet, I know that Jayden could see my tears.
He was silent as he drove.

The silence is not awkward...just filled with so much unsaid words.
I try to stop the fucking tears but godammit! It won't fucken stop!.

I hate being like this especially in front of Jayden.

Then why did you jump in his car in the first place?.

Because I couldn't face Hagel now.
It hurt too much.

" You want to go home?" Jayden asks for the first time in a calm tone.
I shook my head no but I don't look at him.
I feel his eyes on me for a minute or two.
Then he sighed and returned to being silent

That's Jayden. He knows when I don't want to talk and he doesn't ask questions.
Why did I lose him in the first place?
Why did I lose everything?
I don't understand.
I fucken don't!.
I wipe my tears angrily and brace my arms around me.

I feel Jayden's movement but I don't watch him.
My heart ached when he stretched his coat towards me.

I watch him. But his eyes are focused on the road, one hand on the wheel and the other holding his coat to me.

He's Jayden... The Jayden I knew and cared for.
The Jayden who'd choose me over anything.
The one I could be so carefree and opened to and wouldn't have to worry because he protected me.
And he was mine.

Was mine.
Not anymore.

But you want him back.

I can't have him.

And you can't have Hagel either.
You're all alone little bitch...all alone.

I'm tired of even trying to figure out why my own conscience hates me.
I take the coat and turn my attention to the window.
A long while later, he pulls up at a cabin.