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Chapter 37---Call Me Fire

Hazel's POV

When my eyes teared open, it was morning. I heaved a sigh of relief at that. Seriously though, I'm beginning to fear the dark.
Beginning to fear every bloody person around me. Who do I trust?
No one.

Exactly.

Now I'm completely alone. I might have done a pretty lame thing by acting all frightened last night after that fraction of my memory came back.
If I had thought my mind was playing a trick on me then, I was proven wrong by his reaction.

He looked astonished. That fucken look he had just before the darkness consumed me again said it all. Confirms it all.
There's more to everything.
Hagel.

Why has he been lying to me!
Every bloody person has been lying to my face for months!. While I played the damsel in distress, they were probably laughing behind my back at how ignorant and stupid I am.
All of them!.
Even Jayden! And my own bloody sister!.

I still have time to find everything out on my own. They might have done a great job keeping everything from me.
But oh, I'm no fool. I will find out the entire truth and I'll make sure that everyone involved pays!.
They'll pay for what they did to me. Stealing away my life for God knows why?!.
So I have to start with....who the hell pushed me?.

I have to pretend. Pretend like I know nothing. That way, I can watch them more closely.
I swear on my parents graves, I'll get my revenge!.

***†***
I watched with a smile as Bethany walked in, with Abel and Jayden.
" Aunt Red!" The little one called happily, hopping on my bed as he attacked my neck with a hug. I groaned a little, genuine smile plastering on my lips as I hugged him back.
He's the only innocent one in the midst of  so many bad rotten people.
" Careful son, don't hurt her further" came Jayden's voice.

"  How have you been little man?" I asked once the hug ended
" Well I've been good! I learnt a new word, you want to know?" He asked excitedly, giggling.
" Yeah sure champ." I say, playing along. His energy is all I need now. He's the good in all this bad I've come to discover.
And yes, it makes my heart ache that he isn't mine.

" Fuck" he said loudly.
I gasped as the word left his little lips.
" Abel!" Came Bethany's chiding voice.
" Oh my, Abel son , I told  you not to use the F word didn't I?" Added Jayden.
" But why?" Abel whined.
" No buts Abel, come here, get off Aunt Hazel" Bethany said, carrying the little man off me.
" Awwn let him be sis, look Abel, it's quite nice that you learnt a new word right? But can we not use that word yeah? It's a huge monstrous word! And champs aren't supposed to say that, deal?" I say, trying to lighten the mood as Abel obviously looked confused.

" Okay, sure. Deal." He says in a little tone, smiling at me.
" Good.!" I praised.

I turn my attention back to the two people I thought I knew, watching them with a face I hope  was neutral.
" How are you feeling?" Jayden asked, his eyes concerned.
I watch him intensly.
Is he pretending?
" I'm okay but can I pleasssee go home? I hate hospitals and you know it" I say, making a baby face.
" Sure Hazel, once the doctor says it's safe to take you home" Bethany added with a little smile.

Looking at her this close, I realized that she looked more frail. More fragile. And there's dark shadows under her eyes. She hasn't been sleeping much. She looked tired and in dire need of rest obviously.
I watched from the speaking Jayden to the silent Bethany. It made me think....
Is someone forcing Bethany to do something?.

Maybe I've been wrongly accusing her all this time. What if she's also a victim?
Wait is that it?!
Oh my...

" Mummy I want ice cream!" Abel whined, tugging at Beth's skirt.
" I'll just go grab ice cream with him and be back yeah" Bethany said, excusing herself.
I'm left alone with Jayden.
" So...?" He says with his charismatic boyish smile.

" Uh huh. Get me out of here, please" I say, making a crying face. He laughed.
And slap me for feeling a little lost in the sound.
Who is this man ?
What was he like in the past?... with me?.
I don't remember it all but from the little I know, he wasn't at all this gentle.
Would it be wierd if I ask about it?

" Hey, uhh. What were we like? You know ... before?" I asked, watching him. His face fell, like all of a sudden, he's sad about a memory.
" Well..." He  started, taking a seat beside me.
" We were untouchable. You and I. You were always so wild, so free, so full of life. A spitfire. My fire." He paused, watching me deep in the eye.
He looked so taken by the memory.

He smiled as he twisted a strand of the tip of my hair.
" You still is. All wild and gay. It makes me want....wish it never ended".

Nothing.
I feel nothing.
Except a strong desire to have all my memory back. If indeed we were this untouchable ,this happy. Then why did we end? Why did he marry Bethany when I was laying in a hospital, fighting for my fucken life!.

And what's that memory of them kissing?.
He's only being one sided with this.
Telling me what he wants me to know so, what about....
" How did I get shot? "
His face suddenly went blank. Then like nothing, he smiled a little at me, cupping both my hands in his, his thumb stroking the back of my right hand.

" There was this big fight in the club we went to. And someone mistook me for an enemy. We were leaving the club then. Just outside. We were so happy. But in a blink of the eye, it was all gone. I tried to explain to the bastard that I wasn't the enemy. That I didn't know him,any of them. But he wouldn't listen. And he pulled the trigger. I was in front of you . Protecting you. But you...you took the bullet." He paused, head down as he tried to hide...a tear?

Is this the truth? Really?.
I'm so confused. I don't know what to believe.
What about my memory then?.
It was obviously from that same night I was shot at the club.
Something doesn't add up

" Fire..." He whispered.
" I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. You have no idea how much I hate myself for it"
He sounded so broken, so genuine that I found myself softening at it.
" It's okay Jay, it's fine. I understand and I'm grateful for everything you've done for Bethany" I say, smiling at him.

He nodded. After a little pause, he said in the most breaking tone.
" You don't know how much I wish I hadn't married her. This life that we have, I wanted it with you. But I can never have that now. And it breaks my heart" his voice is so low, so low that I find myself leaning into him to catch the words.

" Fire,my Fire".
And this is not intentional, but the minute I lifted my eyes to his, I realized far too late how close we were, our lips almost touching.
Then the door suddenly opened.

Standing in the way watching us was a very emotionless Hagel.
God.
No.

Tiana ♥️.