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Chapter 34---- beginning of the end

Hazel's POV

I watch as the rain hit the window pane, sliding lazily down.
To say I'm disappointed would be an understatement.
I feel humiliated, hurt.
How dare he do that to me?

How dare you say that to him?

Okay maybe I shouldn't have told him those scary three words. But that's how I feel and I know he feels the same way ....or?
Well damn it all!
He should have said something at least, anything!. Other than being dead silent and looking at me like I just grew ten horns.

Sometimes there are more words in silence

That's bullshit.
And where the hell is he now?.
" Fuck". I whisper as I hop off the high stool and run towards the door, just when I was gonna open, it  clicked open, stopping my hands midway.

A second later, I'm face to face with him again.
Gosh... I can't even deny how my fucken heart just skipped a beat at the sight of him, looking all wet, soaked from head to toe.
Wait was he sitting out this whole time?.
Sheesh.

My heart ache as I stare into his green forest eyes, consuming me. I'm wrecking again at the mere sight of him. But I shouldn't be be a fool again.
He's already fooled me once, shame on him. If I let him fool me twice, shame on me.
And I don't like to be shamed.

So I stepped back and walked into  the hall, feeling his gaze on me. I ignored the feeling crawling up my spine, to go hug him and hold him so tight and never let go.
But I can't.
Because he'd let me down again.

I watched him as he moved about, taking his shirt off and going into the bathroom.
Even though I'm as angry as I can possibly be, I still have this stupid warm feeling just by watching him return in a tight white round neck and jeans.
Fuck.
I cuss lowly as I watched him approach me.

" I want to go back" he stopped walking as the words left my lips, watching me intensly with an expression I couldn't read.
I waited for a heartbeat, hoping he'll beg me or apologize and tell me he wants to be alone with me as much as I him.

" Okay" came his one worded reply, crashing all my stupid hopes just like that.
Won't I ever learn? The hell is wrong with me!. Expecting so much from him.

To whom much is given, much is expected.

He never asked me to give him shit.
I'm just plain stupid.
I keep a face I hope is straight and devoid of any emotions as he turned and walked back into the room.
I put my hands over my mouth to stop me from screaming my head off.

I love you.

Stupid me!.
" Oh God.." I mumble to myself, collapsing into the sofa as I heaved sighs after sighs.
I'm already dressed so when he came out with his gym back strapped on his shoulders, I knew it was time to go.

Time to leave with my heartache and this sin of a man seated beside me.

***†***

I couldn't even blink my eye the entire hours journey back. My mind kept spinning and millions of thoughts kept troubling me. I don't spare a glance at Hagel the entire ride. But somehow, I'm still bothered by how close he is.

Close but far.

Such a cliché.

I can smell him, feel his every breath as he drove us back to town, feel his every little movement.

Maybe because I'm fucken watching him from my peripheral .

Yes I am.
And I can't ignore how attractive his profile is, the straight jaw tickling as he gnash his teeth.
Bish me.