𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐄.

Unfortunate suprises.

Chester's pov

!!TW!!
selfharm.

As soon as i got up i thought about parker, about how special he made me feel. He made me feel appreciated in some kind of way. But, i will never know if he actually dislikes me. Ohh fuck here we go again, that one little thought made me upset. I kinda wish my emotions had feelings, because if it had i would stab the shit outta it. But i mean my feelings are mine you know? So if i hurt them, it also hurts me. Perfect! So i got up and started walking down to the kitchen. When i got down i took the old knife i used last time, and then i cut myself with it. This time with a pattern. The pattern i made on my wrist looked similar to the tic tac toe pattern. I wanted to put X's and O's in them so it looked even more similar to the game. But luckily i dropped the knife before starting the game. I knew if i took the knife up and started cleaning i would just do it anyways. So i just decided to keep it down there until i felt brave enough, but i mean i want to hurt myself. Fuck it. I let it stay down on the floor. I dont know how it could be so hard for me to pick up a fucking knife. Pathetic. I tried to motivate myself to just pick it up and put the goddamn soap on it. I did it. I actually did it! i was so proud of myself for once! I needed to tell parker! So i ran up to my computer with wet hands from the cleaning. When i got in my room i turnt on my computer and called up parker. Parker!! i need to tell you something!! i yelled through the mic. "im literally eating right now, whats the matter bud?" Okay so you know if been cutting myself right? "what n-?" i cut parker off by saying Alright so i dropped the knife after i was done cutting and then i just knew i would cut myself again with it if i picked it up and cleaned it, but then i got the right motivation and picked it up and started cleaning it WITHOUT CUTTING MYSELF!! ARENT YOU PROUD?! i didnt even realise what i said, now he knows. Great. Im an idiot.

Parker's pov.

yeah...im really proud of you. I said with a shocked quite voice. "im sorry, i sh-should go." Chester said with a quite disappointed voice. No chester, you've been cutting..? "yeah..im sorry." Hey chester buddy, down apologise. You can tell me anything..Promise me. its okay. chester sighed quietly and started explaining. "it was my old friends at highschool. They were my bestest of friedns of all time, until one of the other guys in some grades below me stared up a horrible rumor about me." Awh man im so sorry, but was was the rumor about exactly..? "i dont want to." Chester listen, you can trust me okay? i know im just a online friend and all but really, you can trust me. i said to chester trying to cheer him up. "fine, okay...So about the rumor, it was real, and the dude some grades below me was my friend. I know it might be difficult to understand but after ive explained everything it will make sense, okay?" Alright, thats fine with me. "okay so me and my friends were hanging out at the big tree near out school. And then the guy some grades below me called my friends over, and lets just name the dude some grades below me.. uhm josh! So josh called over my friends saying that he needed to talk to them, so me and my friends got up and started walking towards josh. "Ey chester i didnt call for you!" josh said looking me straight into my eyes. And then i just walked away with a kinda shocked and weird emotions at the same time. When i sat down at the tree again i just saw them over at the bench, and that bench was reallyyy far away. But that didnt matter that they were far away i was just curious about what they were talking about. And like 15 minutes later i saw my friends leave the bench to get over to a another tree, why didnt they sit with me? But anyways josh called me over so clapped his hands on the bench. I came over and then he started telling me about stuff.. whilst he held my shirt up in the air forcing me to levatate. And then he said that he told me about the st-stuff.." Chester said with a tiring voice after all that explaning. But chester you didnt tell me what he told you?.. "i know, i just took a little break to catch some air." oh thats fi-. I got cut off my chester talking about the stuff thingy. "Alright so i told him i was kinda like homosexual a few months ago and then he told my other friends which were homophobic, and it turns out that josh was also homophobic then. And that caused me to start cutting since i thought i was such an idiot about telling josh about it. And loosing all of my friends from that, and just a quick detail josh also joined my old friend group to replace me. And then they started beating me up on a daily." Chestersaid right before leaving the call and going offline. I sat in my chair not even realising chester left the call, i was speechless, did he really just come out to me? He actually but that much trust in me?? i felt so shocked and gratefull at the same time. Just the fact that he came out to me was an amazing feeling, only because i love him.