AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I must apologize for taking so long in between updates... Honestly, I have hardly any free time for myself these days. Working 6 days a week is exhausting and by the time my day off comes, I'm totally fried. I feel like I'm burning out a little bit & it's frustrating because I WISH I had more time to engage in my hobbies... With that being said, I really hope you guys continue to stick with me & my stories because I am trying my best to write when I can... and whoever is still following this, thank you. Your support means the world to me & is what truly keeps me going with this.
I hope you are all well & taking care of yourselves.
***WARNINGS***
talk of specific ED behaviors (purging), shame, self-hatred, dissociation, anxiety, etc.
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The next day
DJ's P.O.V
"If James is struggling, I guarantee that you're not the only person who has noticed..."
I know Nikki told me that as reassurance the other day, but it hasn't been easing any of my anxiety... at all.
If anything, it's only made it worse.
I can't freakin' relax and I can't attempt to sleep without the debilitating fear; the possibility that James could have purged... I can't shake the uneasiness, especially because now every damn nightmare I wake up from revolves around it!
James purging.
Yes, I know he's in treatment and he's being watched virtually every second of every damn day but you know what?! Nikki has told me how addictions work, and people still get away with behaviors even in fuckin' treatment!
If James feels that horrible about himself... about what I freakin' said... Fuck! He'll take it out on himself! I know he will!
He probably already has!
I don't want to assume that things are bad, but I can't assume that they're fine either! I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know how to think! I feel like I can't trust my own damn mind at this point... I can hardly concentrate or form rational thoughts anymore. I can't sleep... I'm irritable all the time. I can't regulate my own emotions... and all of this is just worse because I'm trying my fuckin' hardest to not automatically drown everything in liquor!
I'm trying.
I'm trying to challenge my worries. I'm trying to sit with the unknowns, but it feels like it's fucking impossible. And, the fact that I haven't heard from James in two days is really sending my panic alarms into overdrive....
I just need to know if he's okay.... I need to know! I need to know but I've been forcing myself to resist calling him repeatedly... but I'm freaking out.
I'm terrified that he's not okay.
And if he's not.... It's all my fuckin' fault.
~ ~ ~
JAMES'S P.O.V:
7:00pm
"Food and Feelings is starting now in the group room... Please come to the group room for Food and Feelings Group—"
The chipper sound of a therapist is heard through the intercom in my room, and the only sensation I feel at the moment is pure dread .
YOU ARE READING
You Have Come To The Right Place ~ (Sixx: AM)
Fanfiction***SEQUEL TO RELIEF*** James navigates the ups and downs of eating disorder treatment, as Nikki and DJ cope with the aftermath and scars that James's struggle left on them. TW: Once again, this is an EATING DISORDER story! Do not read if you think...
