You Have Come To The Right Place ~ (Sixx: AM)

Chapter Two

DJ's P.O.V:

I gotta admit... It was really hard to leave James yesterday.

The admission process is long, and I had no idea what to expect when the three of us walked into the place. I honestly thought that James would fill out some paperwork and be checked in and that would be it... Obviously, my idea of things is skewed beyond belief, and it makes me feel really ignorant, but I guess it's only natural. How could I have known? I've never had to go through something like this in my life, until now.

It ended up being a few hours of what seemed like chaos... I mean, for me and Nikki it didn't feel too chaotic, but I can't imagine how James felt after having to do so many assessments and meet with so many people... He looked exhausted, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why.

His body is fried. He's hurt himself so much that everything is probably all out of whack, and discombobulated. He's getting help for a reason... a huge reason... I'm not gonna lie. It was tough to watch him just lie around once he was allowed in his room after all of the assessments, but I know he just didn't have the energy for anything else. Honestly, it makes a whole lot of sense, especially when he got his blood sugar taken and I saw how bad the number was.

I don't even think James looked at the screen, but I couldn't help it. It was like a fuckin' impulse, because of how much I care about him. I thought that if I didn't peek at it, something would have happened. Don't ask me why. I know that sounds a little insane, but my anxiety has been so high ever since this whole thing started... I just felt safer knowing. However, I'll say right now that I didn't actually feel much better after I looked. The number was horrible. It was in the forties, and I automatically felt a gnawing sensation in my stomach, because I was automatically reminded of the one night that he collapsed after our show. I didn't want to show it, but I felt a little lump in my throat, because memories like that just feel haunting to me.

Things hadn't even gotten "bad" yet, but I'm smart enough to know that even from the beginning, damage was being done to his body, and it was showing. So, to say I felt incredibly relieved when I watched him drink the juice is a fuckin' understatement, but I know that it was probably insanely hard for him to do that.

I'm happy that me and Nikki were able to stay there a little longer until we were told to leave, but I still felt a pit in my stomach knowing that we would have to go eventually.

I know that James didn't say it out loud, but I could see it in his eyes. I could see the helplessness, and the desperation, and the pain, and the fear that all of the self-infliction has caused. I saw his look of longing once we were told that it was time to leave. James wouldn't say it out loud. I know him. He didn't want to show his real feelings outwardly, but I know. I know that he didn't want us to go.

That's what made it even harder to leave... It was like his eyes were screaming for us to stay and to not leave him. If I was able to, I would have fuckin' stayed overnight with the guy, but I couldn't. I'll admit that it felt a little like pulling teeth to get myself to walk away. I think Nikki might have noticed, because he had to gently, but firmly, lead me out. Part of me is a bit embarrassed for acting like this since I'm an adult, but I wouldn't be surprised if other people in this situation act the same damn way!

I guess I just have to keep faith that he'll be okay. I mean, he's James. I know what kind of person he is, and I know that he's overcome a lot of shit in his life, so there's no reason why he won't overcome this. I know it's gonna be a hard, long journey, but I'll just try to help him through it as much as I can.

~ ~ ~

JAMES'S P.O.V:

Last night was, to put it simply, a real shit show.