to capture a killer

ruby-jane

FOUR

Whilst everyone else was singing along to the hymn, Lisa stood, lips sealed tight and face stone cold. There's a point where a person's anger becomes too much for them to conceal. It happens to Lisa at her friend's funeral, as it really hit her that he was gone and that it was entirely her fault.

Guilt shows itself in many ways. For Lisa, it's anger.

Suddenly, she felt claustrophobic and out of place. Her fight or flight mode kicked in, and she chooses the latter. It was not until she was out of the room, after marching past rows of people and drawing everyone's eyes to her, that she felt like she could breathe again.

She and Bambam weren't even that close. Well, at least not until more recently. They had attended the same university together, taken the same course, and sat only a few rows away from each other in lecture halls, but they had always had a muted hatred for one another. They saw each other as competition, even after they both got a job at the same crime department. Especially then.

Then, one time, after a night out with colleagues, they called a truce and decided to work together instead of competing against each other. It was difficult at first. They were both equally stubborn and naturally gravitated towards a leadership role, but soon enough, they learned to work alongside one another. And a truce blossomed into an almost friendship, which mostly consisted of Bambam teasing Lisa to provoke a reaction and Lisa falling victim to it every time.

But he was gone now. And it didn't matter how close they had been. Bambam had been a presence in Lisa's life for a very long time, and now, just like that, he was gone. And she blamed herself.

To her, it was another life lost at her hands because of her incapability to assess the situation at the hospital. She had been too captivated by feline eyes to see what was right in front of her face. If she could have seen past her own libido, Bambam would still be alive.

And she knew it wasn't just sexual. At least, not at the time she met her. Lisa had thought her to be incredibly sweet with a pretty face to back it up. If they had spent any more time together, Lisa would have even asked her for her number. And that was unsettling. Because this woman wasn't sweet, she was the very opposite of sweet.

She saw the killer everywhere. A random woman on the street, a billboard ad, on the TV. Even when she closed her eyes she saw the assassin. It was becoming unhealthy. Lisa knew, and Bambam had told her to fix it before he died. She had one thing on her mind: avenging Bambam, and that was a dangerous goal in the line of work she was in. She was supposed to work without emotions, detached, so that the mission was not risked.

Really, she knew she should probably take herself off the case. With the situation at the hospital, the killer using her name, and now the death of Bambam. She wouldn't do it though. She couldn't. So, she would show that she had grieved, and then she would prove that she was completely capable of seeing this mission through.

To clear her head, she leaves the building and approaches the small graveyard. She's overlooking the tombstones when someone approaches her side.

"Hey, Somi." Lisa manages a small smile for her friend.

"Hey, Lis. You okay?" Somi puts a comforting hand on Lisa's shoulder.

"Yeah, just not good with funerals, and grief in general."

"I get that." There's a long pregnant pause before Somi speaks again. "Can I ask you something, Lisa?"

Lisa turns her head to Somi and nods curiously.

"Were you and Bambam-- I mean, were you-- you know?"

It takes Lisa a while to understand what Somi is asking her. To her, it's something so unfeasible that she can't even comprehend that someone would ask her that. She laughs when she realises.