ash'ad | the mandalorian

BÓŃÚŚ: í'm ríght héré

t/w: panic attack

Water, Water, Water...that's all she could feel. All around her was the empty feeling of floating, stealing her body away from the ground and casting her into open space.

She hadn't thought about it long, and if she was honest, she couldn't even remember what she was thinking about when it happened. All she remembered was feeling her breath catch; feeling that hopeless feeling in her lungs that she needed air despite breathing fine.

And her head started racing, thought after thought, repeated over and over. It was sure to drive any sane person off the edge in moments, let alone a whole afternoon.

She had tried everything, eating snacks, laying down on Din's side of the bed, and now she had gotten in the bath in a last-ditch effort to calm her mind. But the thoughts just kept coming.

She knew Grogu would be out with friends, and she wanted it to stay that way. Nothing would hurt her more than her little boy worried about a problem he couldn't fix.

Din was only at the common house, not even a 5 minute walk away, and yet she couldn't bring herself to comm him. Her energy was long gone, spilling out into the cold bathwater as she stared at the ceiling blankly.

It always happened this way, one minute she would be fine, the next she would be struggling to breathe. Just the thought of having to deal with this any longer made her sit up and clutch onto her legs, wrapping her arms tightly around them.

can't do it, can't do it, can't do it

Her breathing hitched once more, making her eyebrows furrow and lungs flutter. She wanted to cry desperately, but her body had other plans. If she could only get this feeling out, she would be happy again.

happy, happy, happy

She was happy, she had a life she couldn't have even fathomed in her dreams. Something far greater than anything she could have on Nar Shaddaa, or even in her old covert. That's why the empty feeling confused her so much.

She slowly let go, feeling her breathing pick up at a dangerous frequency just to relieve her lung's frantic plea for air.

Then, she heard the front door open.

"Cyare?"

All at once, she crumbled, not caring anymore if she passed out from her hyperventilation. Now, he was there.

"Beth?" he asked again. She heard his boots enter the living room and cross it to reach the hallway. The bathroom was the closest to it and he quickly picked up on the sound of her breathing.

Desperate to reach her, he quickly slid the door open, rushing over to the side of the tub and kneeling.

"Hey- Hey, it's okay now, cyare. I've got you" he promised, grabbing her towel off the stool as she continued to panic, wrapping the dark fabric around her and lifting her against his chest.

She welcomed the feeling of his embrace as he carried her to the bedroom, but shivered when she realized he still had his armor on.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled, placing her crumpled up body on the bed and quickly removing his chest plate and helmet, leaving only his lower body armor and vambraces.

"Come here, sweet girl" he hummed, pulling her trembling body into his chest. He rubbed her hair gently, placing kisses on her head as she curled into him.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm right here" he comforted.

Beth finally felt the security she needed to cry, and so she did. Broken sob after broken sob, she bawled into his chest, leaving a patch of tears on his shirt.

He was always so warm, she could have sworn he was running a fever 24/7, but it was just Din.

"Why didn't you comm me?" he mumbled, resting his head on hers as she continued to cry.

All she could do was shake her head in response, earning a sigh from deep within his chest.

"You can always comm me, okay? No matter what it is" he promised. She wanted to respond, to tell him she understood, but all she could do was bring a little air into her body, just as quickly pushing it out.

"I want you to breathe with me, cyare. Just breathe" he instructed.

She trembled when she felt his chest rise the first time, unsure if she could match the pace. He breathed deep and slow, encouraging her to do the same. The first couple were shaky, but they had managed to decompress.

"There you go" he praised, continuing to rub her arms as he exhaled again. This time she was able to let out a smooth breath, feeling her lungs cease to stutter.

"Din" she whimpered, bringing her head weakly up to meet his eyes.

His dark irises stared dutifully back and he placed a warm hand on her cheek, wiping away any tears that were still present.

"I love you" he vowed, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

She closed her eyes in bliss, letting him linger before pulling away. Once his lips had left her skin, she brought them back, kissing him firmly.

He stayed still, letting her dictate his movements. He knew she would be tired, not to mention winded from her near black-out. Kissing her for his needs would be selfish right now.

"I love you too," she said as she pulled away, resting her head in the crook of his neck and playing with the fabric of his cape.

He hummed at the feeling, finally leaning back on the bed so they could rest.

"Grogu is out playing" she mumbled, already falling asleep in his arms.

"I'll have Rai'na watch him tonight. You need to rest, ner kar'ta" he insisted, kissing her head once more.

The only answer he received was the gentle rising and falling of her chest, a feeling he knew she was desperate for. And though his breath was yet to fail him, he was just as desperate.

She's okay, he assured himself, repeating the phrase with every breath she took.

~~~
A/N: this one I kind of wrote more for me than for the characters because I have panic attacks sometimes and used to have them all the time and it's just nice to imagine someone comforting you :,)