Bucky Barnes X Y/N stark

*14*

Dear diary,

James has been recovering at good pace it's too early to say hydra isn't present in his mind anymore but the grip of serum over him is losseing up.

It's been nearly over a year since he got here and i have seen his every phase from" Steve's bestfriend" to " hydra assassin".

He has joined the avengers team recently but tries to stay away anything that deals with hydra.

Both of us share a very beautiful bond and when i think of it i cant name it. We have something which is hard to put in words.

Is it love...
Is it infatuation...
Is it affection....

Screw me i have been denying my feelings for him for about half a year because i am too scared to loose him.
I feel alot for him and think it will be overwhelming for him to accept my feelings or even reciprocate them.

And i dont want to hurt myself cause i have had fair share of broken relationships and i can't allow my heart to be broken again specially by the person i love.

Am i planning to tell him about my feelings....NO.
What if he dates someone, will i be jealous...YES.

Goddddd love does drives you crazy!!!!!

26-08-2021
Y/n

After pouring my heart out in my diary which was just same as what i got Bucky for his birthday i took a deep breath trying to take the cold air inside of me which fills my lung.
I was sitting in the garden and it was around 8 in the evening.

I decided to head back because it was getting chilly out here and i was only wearing a tanktop with some leggings which made me shiver.
Just as i was about to enter my room i ran into something solid and big and my diary fell to the floor.
As i was about to hit the floor from the random Collison i felt a cold metal arm rapped around my waist holding me up from falling.

Quickly to save my self from falling and hitting the hard concrete i wrapped my arms around my savers shoulder and clutched him closer.

"I got you doll" he said.

As i opened my eyes from the random movement of collision and falling....i realised that the person who saved me was none other than James.. my James (god ever i get the chance to call him mine).

"Oh thank God James , you just saved me from having a concussion and crack-head" i chuckled when i straightened up my self.

I realised while bumping i dropped my diary and bent down to pick it when i saw Bucky doing the same cause he dropped his diary too.

Ours fingers brushed while picking up our diaries and we exchanged smiles.

" Oh we have the same diaries y/n" Bucky said while analysing the similarities between the both of them.

"Yeaah, buck i got my self one too when i was search hunting for your birthday present" i gave him a soft clap on his arm.

"Which by the way i loved " he said.

I couldn't held back my yawn from the tiring day.

" Good night buck, see you tomorrow" i ran my fingers through his hairs making them messed up which made him more sexy and unressistable.

I walked towards my room without even waiting for his reaction.

Bucky pov

Y/n doesn't realises the kind of effect she has on my me.
It's just like i melt.....just from her touch.

I walked back to my room after the random sweet moment i had with her.
I changed in to my night wear and searched for a working pen on my nightstand to write in my diary.

But when i opened it, i realised it wasn't mine because there was a triangle shape logo and all kind of spells written on it which I assumed were related to Harry Potter.

Oh boy!

It was y/n's diary and i think it got exchanged while we bumped into each other.
I quickly closed it because i dint want to intrude in her personal space.

I decided to sleep and switched off the lights and laid in my bed staring at the ceiling fan trying to fathom my thoughts.
But as the night grew deeper so did my curiousness about y/n's diary.

Diaries are everyone's personal space they pour out their unfiltered feelings without being judged.

It was currently midnight when i couldnt sleep and decided to read her diary.

I will only read 2-3 pages i promised my self.

But when i opened it and flipped through some pages i saw a sketch in black and white.
It was my sketch in that i was sleeping on a chair and i dont remember when she drew this.

I was amazed how she has managed to draw every minute details of my face.
She was really good artist and i felt overwhelmed that she drew me.

When i flipped further there were more few sketches of me in diffrent postures.
She really liked to draw me and an giddy feeling came to me making me blush.

When i started reading few of her entries i realised It was all about me.
And this made me more impatient for reading further.

Every single entry was about me and every moment we shared and every highlight of our togetherness.
But when i stumbled upon the latest entry my heart stopped for a second and my mind flipped.

I can't afford to loose him when i imagine him with someone which is not me it physically pains me.
I love him .....
I love him soo much that i can't put it in words.
I am never good at admitting my feelings but i love buck with all my heart.

I jumped out of my bed pacing up and down in my room.

"She loves me......
Okay !!!!!!!!! Y/n stark loves me and not that sympathy pity love.
She loves me like i do, she loves me like Steve loves Peggy...
She loves me like pepper loves tony!!!!!!!!
Oh my god !!!!!!
All this year we wasted so much time when we could be together like a like a couple...."

But what now and she have my diary.
I don't think she will read it or maybe she is as curious as i am????.

I stared blankly at the wall thinking about what would happen next.

I decided just to wait till the morning and see what happens.

But she loves and she made it sure with no doubt.
Literally my whole world revolves around her she has a special place in my heart or my heart belongs to her.

I dint care if she read my diary because..... now i wanted her to know that how much i love her equally as she does.

With all that i slept peacefully waiting for the morning......