Family First ♡ - A Chaselyn Story

Chapter 62

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

Chases pov
After Ellie ran out of Madisons house, I hoped she wouldn't of ran far but after looking for her for 49 minutes, I realised she did.

Me
Els, where are you?

Please answer.

Come on E I'm worried.

No reply. I was now even more worried. I ran towards the beach, Els loves the beach and that's the last place I know. To get to the beach from Madisons, you had to cross a bridge. As I ran to the bridge, my heart stopped. There she was. My daughter sat on the edge. It wasn't a huge bridge but it was big enough and the crossing road was always empty.

I rushed over to her, "Els" I warn so she doesn't get a fright. She jumps and looks at me, she had tears in her eyes. I sit down next to her. "I'm not mad at you, nobody is" I tell her. Even if we were all mad, I couldn't tell her that. She's clearly in a fragile state. "I ruined Madisons night" she tells me. "No you didn't. Sure, it was a bit of drama but Madison isn't mad" I tell her, honestly.

"Hey, Dad?" She says and I nod. "Do you ever wonder what would happen if I just let go and jumped off here right now" she says and my heart drops. I knew she was bad but not this bad. I wrap my arm around her waist tightly, incase she does try and jump. "Well if you did, I would be torn. I couldn't live without you. Between me and you, you're my favourite kid. If I lose you, I'd lose myself" I tell her completely honestly. "But you'd still have the others, I wouldn't be a big miss" she tells me.

"You definitely would. Olivia wouldn't have anyone to go surfing with. Addie wouldn't have anyone to play soccer with. Finn wouldn't have anyone to bake cookies with. Mom wouldn't have anyone to have her cuddles with and I wouldn't have anyone to laugh with" I say.

"But it's so hard, Dad" she tells me. I could tell by how fragile her voice was. "Please just let me go" she says, sadly. "I can't let you do that. You mean too much to me" I say. "Please come away from the edge with me" I almost beg. "We can go sit on the beach and talk?" I suggest to try and persuade her and she just looks at me, tear stained face and all but she nods.

We walk a short walk to the beach, I make sure to keep my arm around her shoulder. When we make it to the beach, we sit down. The sun was setting so the sky was pretty. "Talk to me Els. Why haven't you been talking to anyone recently?" I say and she just sighs. "I can't Dad. I feel too guilty. I don't deserve anyone" she tells me. "Els, what you done was for the best. You couldn't of handled it" I tell her but she shakes. "No, not that" she says which confuses me. "Then what do you feel guilty of?" I ask, intrigued.

"I can't say" she tells me. I could tell by her voice how vulnerable and weak she was. "You can, I'm not here to judge. No matter what it is" I tell her and she nods and sits up. It was when she grabbed her sleeve when I froze. I knew this all to well. I had to act brave, for her.

She pulled her sleeve up and revealed quite a lot of cuts. Some healed, some fresh. "Oh Els" I say and look her in the eyes. She broke down crying. "Come here, I'm not mad at you" I say and engulf her in a hug. "I'm sorry" she keeps saying. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I just wish you told me sooner" I tell her. "Don't tell Mom" she says panicking. "Why not, you know she'll be supportive?" I ask. Madelyn is the most supportive and caring person I know. "I don't wanna upset her" she says with tears streaming dow her cheeks.

"She deserves to know but if you don't feel ready, we can wait to tell her. But I think you should" I say, not pushing her to do anything she isn't comfortable with. "I'll tell her" she says finally. "Thank you for telling me Els. I promise it's going to get better" I tell her and she rests her head on my shoulder. "I feel stupid. I'm 18 and I act like I'm still 13" she says. "Mental health is important. Whether you're 13 or 53, it isn't stupid" I say.

"I wanted to tell you. But I just couldn't" she says. I use the thumb the rub the tears away. "You have now, that's all that matters" I say. "This, though" I point to her arms, "needs to stop. I know it's difficult. But when you need to, come find me or Mom and talk to us. We will help the best we can. Maybe we can find you a therapist too?" I suggest and she agrees.

"Dad.. does Cooper hate me?" She asks worried. "Of course not, why would he?" I say. "Well I haven't talked to him much and I feel like such a bitch for acting that way with Madison" she tells me. "Are you ready to go back?" I ask. "I never will be but I guess we can. Did you or Mom tell them why I acted this way?" She asks and I nod. "Thank you" she says.

We walk back to Madisons house, which was a 20 minute walk back. Before we walked back in, Els stopped suddenly.

"Oh and there's one more thing" she says and I nod, allowing her to continue.

"The baby isn't dead" she says seriously.