Family First ♡ - A Chaselyn Story

Chapter 63

Ellies pov
"The baby isn't dead" I say. I really am exposing everything to Dad tonight. He looks at me confused, "What do you mean? You took the pills" he says. "I stopped. I didn't take them all" I confess. Did I want the baby? Fuck no. But could I kill it! No.

"Why not? I thought you didn't want the baby?" He asks, trying to take everything in. "I don't" I simply say. "So why did you stop. I'm sorry if I'm coming across mean I'm just so confused Els" he says. "Just because I hate life and living, doesn't mean I should take away another life" I tell him.

"So you're keeping it?" He asks and I shake my head. "Not as mine. I'll give birth to it but I'll put it up for adoption or some shit" I tell him. "Are you sure?" He asks. "Nope. But I guess that's the only good option" I say.

"Now look at you, knowing more about me than ever" I say laughing. "Double homicide. First I told you I literally cut myself and secondly I told you I didn't abort my baby" I say laughing, I couldn't help it but Dad looked deadly serious.

"You what" I hear a quiet voice from behind us. Moms voice. "How much of that did you hear?" I jump back, getting a shock. I didn't know she was there. "Just long enough to hear the last sentence" she says. She looked heartbroken.

"You hurt yourself?" She asks gently and I look at Dad, I was so nervous. I know I shouldn't be, it's Mom. "Erm... yeah" I say, unsure on what I should or shouldn't say. "Can I see?" She questions me. I nod and roll my sleeves up gently.

I hear her gasp. When I look her in the eyes, they were teary. She was crying. She traced her thumb across my scarred skin. "I'm sorry" I simply say. "How long" she asks. "Well the oldest is a month and the newest is roughly 8 hours" I say. "Please bubs, don't do this. You mean so much to us all" she tells me. "I'll try to stop" I tell Mom and Dad, who just stood there quietly. "Thank you" they both say together.

"Come here" Mom says and wraps me up in one of her comforting hugs. "I love you" she tells me. "I love you more, Mom. I'm sorry I caused drama in there earlier" I say.

"What's this about you and the baby?" She asks. "I couldn't do it Mom. I couldn't harm a baby, it didn't deserve it. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want. I don't want it either but I couldn't kill it" I say. "I'm not mad, I understand. We will get through it, together." She says and I smile.

Me, Mom and Dad return back to the party. As soon as we enter the room, everyone stares at us. Well me, I'm guessing. I just hang my head low, "I'm sorry for how I acted. It was wrong of me and I overreacted" I say loudly so everyone could hear. Most people just said things like 'it's okay' or 'don't worry'.

The first person I went to was Madison and Mariah. "I'm so sorry. I really am, I didn't mean to be like that. I don't know what got over me, I'm really happy for you two. Once again, I'm sorry" I say. Madison just looks me in the eyes and engulfs me in a hug. "Don't be stupid, it's okay. We don't care, as long as you're okay that's all that matters. I know you well enough to know somethings going on with you up there" she says and point to head. "But just promise me you'll come talk to me. It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow but just whenever you're comfortable and ready to talk" she tells me and I smile. I didn't deserve all the love Madison gave me.

"I love you Bails" I say and she replies with, "I love you more baby girl" and she kisses my head.

Next person was Cooper. He didn't even know our baby was still alive. I was going to keep it this way for today. Only because I didn't want to break the news to him at a party. "Hey Coop. Can we talk?" I ask him, anxiously. When he nods, we walk to a separate room to have more privacy.

"I'm sorry for not talking to you much recently. Or at all. I've just been struggling with my mental health I suppose. I'm going to get help though. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore or you wanna move on" I say. Even though if he did, it would break my heart.

"Shut up" he says and smacks his lips against mine. "I'm marrying you one day, Els. You're not getting rid of me that easily. As for you mental health, I'm glad you're going to get help and I'm always here to talk. Please try and tell me instead of suffering alone" he tells me. "I do have stuff to tell you but is it okay if i tell you tomorrow or something?" I ask. "Of course, I'm glad you're talking to me now. I've missed hearing your voice" he tells me.

"I've missed you Coop. I love you so much" I tell him before we back and join the others. Just as I go to sit down on the couch, Addie runs over to me. "Ellie! Ellie!" She shouts and jumps on me. "Hey sweet girl" I say. Not gonna lie, I feel guilty for ignoring my siblings recently. I just couldn't bring myself to talking to them.

"Will you come watch my soccer game tomorrow?" She asks, smiling sweetly. I look up at Dad, who's smiling at us communicating. "Of course I will. But if I do, you need to promise me you'll win" I say and she screams of joy. "I promise sissy" she says and gives me her pinky as a promise.

It's a step in the right direction. It was stupid of me to stop talking to basically everyone but my mind kept telling me that I didn't deserve anyone to care about me and they would stop if I didn't talk to them. It just made me realise that people do care about me, more than I ever imagined.

I'm so lucky I have these people in my life. Do I deserve them? Of course not. But whether I like it or not, they're always going to be here by my side. Sometimes mental health gets in the way but I'm determined to get back to how I use to be - a carefree, fun girl that would do anything to have a good time.