Letters to Andee

Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

ANDEE'S POV

My pain was manageable the next few days after the giant emergency room fiasco but then it got worse.

The pills weren't helping and I had to take time off from work, which I really don't need to be doing. I'm a new employee and I'm not making a very good impression. Thank God that I have an amazing boss and she understands that I'm dealing with my health.

I called the doctor and explained to him that my pain was getting worse and the pills weren't helping. He decided it would be best to move my appointment up to find out what is causing this pain.

I've always had random little problems with my health, most of them going unsolved. I was out of school for a week and a half with horrible migraines my freshmen year. If I stood up I passed out. They tested me for so many things – meningitis, cancer, tumors – and they didn't find anything. They eventually stopped and I went back to school, only telling Esther what they tested me for AFTER I knew I was okay.  I knew she would have flipped shit if she knew what I was being tested for. I was lactose intolerant for about two months but then I ate dairy and was fine. I had so many little random problems that would show up and disappear just as quickly, with no explanation.

This could be one of those little problems but it could be a big problem too. I never know how bad it's going to be and that's what's scaring me this time. It feels like a big issue and I really just want it to be solved. I don't want this putting me at risk and I especially don't want it putting Baby at risk.

Esther's been taking care of me this entire time and I can tell she's worried. She started crying the other day when I was in too much pain. Ess has always been that way. She's so empathetic. She cries at every movie. She cries when she hears songs. She cries at pictures. She cries when she misses people. She cries when someone is hurt. I usually tease her and call her a marshmallow but I'm now realizing how amazing it makes her. She doesn't know what I'm feeling but she's here for me, and I need that right now – I haven't told Harry about any of this – she's here for me.

That's why she's the one holding my hand in the back seat of the cab that's driving us to the hospital so I can get this done with.

I'm nervous, I've never liked having surgeries – the anesthesia makes me sick and I've never been an easy person to put an IV in. Esther squeezes my hand and I give her a sad smile. She knows I'm nervous, I wouldn't usually like her holding my hand but it's comforting today.

I look down at my phone as I feel it vibrating against my leg and I see Harry's name flash across the screen, the picture he took of us as his caller ID. I draw in a shaky breath and tuck it into my purse, ignoring the call.

"Did you just ignore Harry's call?" Ess asks her eyebrows furrowed.

I don't answer.

"Andee, why did you ignore that?" she asks a little louder but I just shake my head. "When's the last time you talked to him?"

I shrug my shoulders. It's been about four days since I've talked to him on the phone – we've sent the occasional text message but I can't talk to him. I feel too guilty and I know that if I talk to him on the phone he'll sense the nervousness in my voice and I'll end up telling him.

"Andee Duncan. You need to call him back. Right now." Esther crosses her arms over her chest with a scowl on her face and I know she's right but I can't do it. "You need to talk to your boyfriend, he really misses you and I know you miss him too."

"I haven't told him anything yet." I whisper and look out the window. I hear her gasp.

"You haven't told him ANYTHING?!" she asks loudly and I shake my head, finally looking at her I see her surprised face. "So let me clarify..." she clears her throat sarcastically. "You haven't told him about your procedure today, you haven't told him about baby, and you haven't told him that you've been having pains, he knows nothing?!" she practically yells and I see the cabbie turn slightly to see what we're doing.