Letters to Andee

Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

ANDEE'S POV

There's been tension between Ess and I again. This really is bringing out the worst in us. We fight often but it's not usually like this. Normally it's just about some stupid thing and we get over it by the next day but this is the real stuff.

I've heard her say all these things so many times - I need to tell Harry and it's his choice and he's going to be excited - but that doesn't make me any less nervous. I always pictured myself dating the man I was going to have children with for a minimum of two years... my mom always says that you need to experience the man you're going to be with in all the seasons.

I planned to get married in my mid-twenties to late twenties and then I would wait a few years to have children so we would have time to do fun things - like go on little vacations and go to dinners and focus on my career - but now this.

I'm pregnant with my boyfriend of five months' baby and he doesn't know about it.

Today is my first ultra sound appointment and to say I'm nervous would be an understatement. Esther and I have still been a little snappy with each other and she's taking me so I don't know how that aspect of it will go. But I also know absolutely nothing about babies. I don't know how fast they grow or what's going on inside me. I'm nervous but excited to finally know some details.

I've always been the person to investigate things. I love research and knowing facts - Ess always teased me in high school about being a nerd but she was just as much one as I was - and it's taken everything in me to not go research crazy on pregnancy.

I get dressed in some yoga pants boots and a sweatshirt, it's freezing here. Esther is sitting on the couch with a book when I get downstairs.

"Hi." I say quietly as I walk towards the fridge to get a burrito - I don't like breakfast food.

"Good morning." She smiles slightly at me and I know it's her niceness showing.

"I'll eat something and then we can go?" I ask and she nods as she turns a page.

We're walking a very thin line and it's making me even more nervous. I know I need to apologize.

I pull my coat on and hold the keys out to her.

"Do you want to drive?" I ask.

I finally made an investment in a car - cabs are ridiculously expensive - and I was going to end up getting one anyways. It's nothing special but it gets me from point A to point B. I'm still trying to get used to the whole driving on the "wrong" side of the road thing but I'll get over it.

"Sure." She smiles again.

"You're better and driving on the wrong side of the road." I shrug and she laughs a little bit.

We're both quiet in the car and I know this is the perfect time to apologize.

"Esther..." I trail off and she glances over at me, a confused look on her face. "I'm really sorry about the way I've been acting lately... I've been stressing you out and I hate that... I don't want to come between you and Niall." I look over at her and I hear her sigh.

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't yell at you like that - I just get so frustrated that I lose my temper and I end up screaming... it's just that Harry's the best thing that's ever happened to you - baby or no baby - he's perfect for you and I don't want to see this get ruined. I know you both can handle this but it's going to have to be a team effort. What the hell am I saying, of course it's got to be a team effort," she slaps her forehead making me laugh. "all parents work together. Harry is going to be an amazing father and I know you're going to be a great mother." She smiles over at me and I feel tears in my eyes. I'm not an emotional person but these damn pregnancy hormones have got me going all mush ball.