Letters to Andee

Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

HARRY'S POV

 I totally get why Andee didn't come to pick us up from the airport with Ess. She had to work the next day and that makes sense. I can't lie and say that it didn't bother me.... I wanted her there so badly...

 On other tours Niall and I didn't have anyone to miss us. And we always wanted that, we never discussed it but I could see it in his eyes every time we came home. I've always felt the same way. I wanted to have that special someone there to hug me and say they missed me. I wanted to be bouncing in my seat because I was so excited to see them and kiss them and hug them. I wanted someone to visit me in random countries and their presence would make it feel like home. I wanted someone to be waiting backstage to tell me that I did a good job performing. I wanted someone that I could tell all the stupid tour stories. I had all these preconceived ideas of what tours would be like if I had a girlfriend but none of them seem to be accurate.

 Andee doesn't text me first; I have to instigate every single conversation. She sounds so nervous in all of our phone calls and I'm honestly still a little upset she didn't come to Australia with Ess. I shouldn't have expected her to act the exact way I wanted her to but I expected a little more than what's going on right now.

 She's the only girl I've ever been in love with. Sure I've had feelings for the other women I've dated before but there's something about Andee that just grabbed my attention. She's always throwing surprises at me and I love that about her. She's getting so much better at trusting people and I was seeing so much progress right before we left.

 But not so much now.

 We've been home for three days and I haven't seen her once.

 I texted her after I forced myself to wake up to avoid wasting my days home, but she didn't respond for four hours... and once she did she said she was working and couldn't see me that day. I completely understand that because she's as dedicated to her career as I am to mine, that's one of my favorite things about her. The next day I was driving to Holmes Chapel to visit my mum and I asked her if she wanted to go but she said she wasn't feeling very well. I know my mum would've loved to see her and I would've loved to have her along for the trip but I let it go. Yesterday I asked her if she was available to go to lunch or hang out and she told me she was grocery shopping and tired and couldn't find the time in her busy schedule.

 I'm getting fed up.

 She's avoiding me and I can tell.

 Today I texted her and she didn't respond.

 I'm done with this shit, I'm going to her house because somehow I feel it in my gut that she's there.

 Before I know it I'm standing on her doorstep, pounding on her door.

 "Geez I'm coming!" I hear Esther call out. She opens the door with a smile but it fades quickly when she sees me.

 I know I look like shit and on top of that I am fucking fuming. My chest is rising and falling quickly and with every minute I don't know what's going on my breathing gets even shallower.

 Ess' facial expression changes again and she smiles sadly at me, I see something in her eyes too, sympathy maybe?

She opens the door farther and lets me come in. I turn and look at her and she looks like she's going to say something but thinks better of it. Instead she just grabs my hand and squeezes lightly before picking up her coat, hat and purse.

 "I'm heading out Andee!!!" She calls out as she quickly twirls a scarf around her neck.

 "What? Why? Who was at the door?" I hear Andee call as Ess leaves. "Ess?" she calls even louder as I walk down the hallway.