Dare you to love me

It's not your fault

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Chapter 17

Clarke POV

We begin to head towards my house and my stomach is churning like crazy. In the last 24 hours I've gone from trusting Lexa, to hating her guts back to wanting to be by her side. This girl is causing me to feel crazy and drive my head wild. She has seen a part of me that no one has before and is the only person I've ever wanted to explain myself too.

I can feel her keep looking at me as we drive. Looking at my arms as though she can see through my sleeves. I can tell that I have scared her, I just don't want her thinking that it's all her fault, because of yesterday. That's why I need to explain.

"It's just here to the left" I quietly say, wanting to try and break the tension.

"I remember Clarke" She smiles softly at me and we pull up in front of the house.

I shout for my Mum as we enter the house, but I know that she will be at work. I just want to check so that Lexa and I will not be disturbed while we talk.

Lexa follows timidly behind me as I lead her to the stairs. I've never known her to be this quiet ever since I first laid eyes on her. She seems nervous almost, something I ever thought Lexa would feel around me, or anyone.

"We'll talk in my room. It's the last one of the left. I'll just make us some drinks and be right up after you" She nods and begins to slowly head up the stairs.

I know that Lexa could wait with me while I make them but I just need a minute to myself. To think about how I am going to start my story, how much of it I am willing to share with someone I haven't even known for two weeks.

My hands shake as I pour two cold sodas into glasses from the fridge. I begin to wonder if it's not just telling Lexa about my past that's worrying me. Is it the fact that Lexa and I are completely alone in my house? In my bedroom of all places. When we had held hands earlier the feeling was inscribable. I didn't have that much experience with people, but I knew it meant that there was something special between us.

Lexa POV

I head up to the room which Clarke had instructed was hers and push open the bedroom door. As horrible as the circumstances were, I was excited to be in Clarke's bedroom. I don't mean to be nosey but I can't help but look around at her things, I wanted to try and understand why I was so fascinated with the blonde princess.

I noticed a photo by the side of her bed which must be her Dad. She's a lot younger in the picture and it looks like they are on holiday somewhere in the snow. There's a giant snowman built next to them and Clarke is smiling proudly, looking at her Dad.

I move over to her dresser and notice a stretch pad on the side. Something Clarke normally has in her possession. She obviously must have more than one. I go to open up the pad but pause for a moment wondering if I am crossing a line in terms of Clarke's privacy. Curiosity takes over though and I flip to a random page inside.

I am met with two strong green eyes looking back at me. I take a moment looking at the image before it dawns on me who's eyes I think they are. Around them are random items, a football, a soccer shirt with my number on it and a black sports car.

Were they my eyes? Has Clake been drawing me? It definitely looks like my car and I'm number 9.

I flick to the next page and my assumptions are confirmed. She has drawn a portrait of me on the soccer field. She has zoomed in on so much detail that it could be mistaken for a photograph. I stare in awe at Clarke's talented eye for detail. Does Clarke have feelings for me? Surely, you wouldn't draw someone in this much intimate detail for no reason.