Dare you to love me

Biting the bullet

First of all, an apology, I know I'm shit at updating. It's been forever, so I don't even know if people are still reading. 

As way of an apology I've wrote the chapter a lot of you have been asking for. I was going to take it in a different direction, but I felt that you deserved that for waiting so patiently. 

Chapter 38

Clarke's POV

All the way up stairs I can feel my heart beat banging erratically against my chest. The huge amount of confidence I held moments ago, draining away with every step.

Lexa turns to look at me and smiles comfortingly. I know I can say no or stop at any point, that isn't why I'm nervous. I'm nervous because Lexa is going to be the first person to ever see me so intimately and see all the parts of me that I hate.

I wish I had Lexa's confidence, she didn't even bother picking her top up off the kitchen floor, or wherever it landed. Her body is perfect, even just looking at the curve of her spine and the way her hair falls effortlessly over her shoulder turns me on. I've got it so bad!

We reach her bedroom door at the end of the hall and Lexa guides me into the room holding my hand every step of the way. We both look at each other a bit awkwardly, Lexa not wanting to over step or push me. I realise that I should make the first move, to assure her that I haven't changed my mind. That I've never wanted someone so much in my entire lifetime.

"I can put some music on..." Lexa suddenly says, her voice a little quieter than usual.

"Music? How cliche" I joke, trying to disperse some of the awkward atmosphere in the room. Lexa looks down at the ground, clearly not understanding that I was trying to make a joke.

"Sorry, I just thought..." She trails off.

" I was joking, music would be nice Lex" I make my way over to the bed and sit on the end whilst Lexa fiddles with her phone linking it up to her speakers. I slow acoustic melody starts to play and Lexa joins me over on the end of the bed.

I lean in and kiss her and she quickly returns the kiss, pushing her lips softly against mine. I'm unsure of where to put my hands so I just hang them by my side for now, not wanting to do something wrong. I feel Lexa pull away slowly and look me in the eyes.

"I don't think I've ever seen you look so beautiful" Lexa tells me, breaking apart the kiss, looking deeply into my eyes. "Are you sure?" She doesn't ask what about but we both know.

I nod my head and she returns her lips to mine, lowering me down onto the bed. We both push our bodies up the mattress so that our heads lie gently on the pillows. Never breaking apart, I can't help but smile into the kiss as Lexa runs her fingers up my sides under my shirt.

She climbs on top of me and begins to trail kisses down my jawline and down towards my neck. I tilt my head out the side allowing her easy access to my neck. Wetness floods my lower section as Lexa bites down hard and sucks at my pulse point. I don't even remotely care that it will leave a mark. The euphoric feeling is just too much to create cause for concern.

I hear myself moan, and feel my cheeks go pink with embarrassment. My body must pause slightly because Lexa reassures me that it's a noise she loves.

"Hearing you moan Clarke does things to me that I can't even explain, baby. No one has ever made me feel this way" She bites down again harder, not bothering to wait for a reply. I can't help but moan again, this time louder, not bothering to hold back.

Her hands work their way higher up my sides, her leg slips in between mine and she softly adds some pressure with her thigh between my legs and the throbbing becomes more intense.