uber | cheolsoo

20 || puke is gross and so am i for not updating in a year

"what are you doing out here?" joshua looked up to find seungcheol standing above him. it didn't take long for seungcheol to invite himself to sit next to joshua, which joshua didn't mind at all.

in fact, he figured he could use the company. while the party inside was nice, things seemed a bit too hectic for joshua's taste. inside there were drunk college students eagerly consuming alcohol as it was an easy temporary fix for the stress their academics brought them. joshua really didn't fit in with that mentality, at least not at the moment.

talking to seungcheol's friends and meeting them for the first time, apart from jeonghan, stirred up some old feelings for joshua. they were feelings he couldn't drink no matter how hard he tried which was a real bummer. the last thing you want to think at a party is about your estranged relatives, or about how they've basically convinced your parents to distance themselves from you as well.

just the other day joshua had seen one of their facebook posts about the family meeting up for a brunch of some kind. joshua didn't know the occasion, but he was sure they had plenty of fun without him. it always was that way, even before he'd come out to them.

joshua remembered it like it was yesterday. his friends back in the states had egged him on. they had come out to their families as well, and things had gone great for them. in the heat of the moment joshua assumed the same would happen for him. he hoped for the best in his family and hoped that their love would matter more to them than his sexual preference.

then joshua found himself being yelled at in the early hours of the morning by his uncle while his mom idly stood by, blind to the words of abuse coming out of the older man's mouth. it didn't hurt to see his uncle act so cruel towards him. what hurt more was that his mother agreed, or at least agreed enough with her brother to let this happen day after day. long story short, joshua got sick of it all and applied to colleges overseas which is where he was now three years later.

"oh, I just needed a bit of fresh air." joshua replied softly, his voice trailing at the end of his sentence.

seungcheol nodded. he took a small glance at joshua before following his gaze upwards, towards the sky. the moon wasn't really out, but it glowed just enough from behind the clouds covering it so that it was visible to the eyes.

"was that true? you know, what you said before." seungcheol carefully spoke. he didn't know joshua too well, but he knew just enough to know that something was going on. joshua avoided eye contact and fumbled his hands.

"very. I do look good in pink, you even agreed." joshua smiled, trying his absolute best to play off his obliviousness. seungcheol wasn't buying it. he looked right through joshua, the student could see it in his eyes well when joshua wasn't looking down.

"no I mean your uncle."

"what can I say, he's a man stuck in the past. he loved to preach that boys can't cry, boys can't be vulnerable in any way, all that bullcrap and more." joshua sighed. "I have to admit growing up around him and all that was tough."

"I already knew growing up that I was, am, different. he just always had to remind me that I wasn't as athletic as my other cousins, or that I was too feminine for his liking. I guess I've sort of internalized that shit, which sucks because I want to talk about it but I just feel like I can't."

"you do know none of it's true right? you're allowed to be vulnerable, and I'll always listen to you when you need someone. hell, you've listened to my crap about ubering people, I owe it to you." seungcheol looked over to find joshua finally meeting his gaze. "I don't know I'm not good at this but I'm here anyway."

"thanks, I kinda needed that." joshua smiled

"no problem. and by the way fuck your uncle, I don't think there's anyone else in the world who can pull off pink hair like you do. even I can't." seungcheol leaned on the steps of the porch they were sitting on. joshua subconsciously inched closer to the uder driver.